Adlyana Danielle

Nothing's perfect. Nobody's perfect.

2011-09-19T16:15:00.001+08:00

Family is everything. Be it perfect, or broken. Everyone is brought up differently. Some might stray away from the right path, and some might have the perfect journey towards their dreams. It all depends on the person itself, whether they want to work for it or just laid back and watch as the world goes pass them.

As you look around you, you see families everywhere. Laughing amongst themselves, having fun. Taking pictures as a family, they look so happy. You'll think, they are such a perfect family. But wait, just because they look like a perfect family doesn't mean they are a perfect family. Behind those smiles and laughters, there can be problems. Or maybe fighting or arguing amongst themselves. You won't know it. Doesn't mean they look perfect, they don't have any problems. Maybe financial problems, or disagreements with parents. Or small arguments with the siblings. You can never see all these things. Like many people always say, "Don't judge it's book by it's cover."

Broken family is another thing. Like maybe divorced parents, or the children goes astray as parents are too busy with their work. Or they got no parents at all. Things like that. But doesn't mean they got broken family, they are categorised as bad people. Because when you really get to know them, they're actually very nice people. It's just that they are lacked of love by their parents, family that make them look like what they look like now. Even if they drink, or smoke, have a tattoo, lots of piercing, it still doesn't give people the rights to judge them.

To summarise everything, nobody's perfect. Not even me, nor you. You may have a perfect family, or a broken family, but even everyone will suffer the same fate. The rich can be poor, and the poor will be rich. Those perfect famiy can break any moment, and those broken ones can just get a perfect family in the future. So appreciate the things and the people around you. You can never know they might just disappear one day. :)

A day to look forward to ♥

2011-09-18T03:02:00.001+08:00

Life is getting better each day, and im loving it :) i quit the TCC job, a job that i havent even try out yet. Hahaha! But im too lazy to go =P i shall just stick to ben&jerry eventhough i HATE the company. Lols. (fuck you guys cos wanna cut cost!) anyway, boyf quit the TCC job as well. A job that he only works for 2days. Lols. But im happy and excited for him, cos he found another job. Thanks to Yue Xing for getting him that job! ^^ appreciate it babe ♥

Was supposed to watch Crazy, Stupid, Love today but we forgot to book and in the end there's no more seats. Lols. So we push the plan to tmr instead :) hopefully everything would go as planned ^^ cant wait for tmr! Long day ahead~

Work. Gg out wit lovelies, Ridhwan, Nabila, Fadil ♥ nights everyone!

Too lazy.

2011-09-16T09:11:00.001+08:00

Omg. This is soo uber cool. Posting a post through my phone. Hahaha!!! Okay, jakunn muchh~ HAHAHA!!

Anyway, im getting ready to go in Singapore later. I got work at 6pm later, but its my TCC job. And im not sure if i wanna go or not. I dont feel like working there =P padehal i never start before. Hahaha! Hmmmm, i shall see how.

And last Wednesday i went to raya outing wit my 5Awesome1 ! ♥ and looking at the pics posted in fb by them really makes me miss them already! When i was looking at those pic again, i miss all the fun and laughter we had on that day. Eventhough the ending was...... Hahaha. Anyway, I miss you guys already, 5Awesome1 ♥

Selamat Hari Raya! :D

2011-08-27T22:53:00.002+08:00

Since the last time I didn't get to update my blog properly, I shall use this small free time of mine to update my blog :)

Two more days left to fast, and here comes Raya. (:

surprisingly, this year I don't have any new clothes. But it didn't bother me that much, cos partly was my fault too. I didn't had enough time to find for new clothes :( so its okay, I tried all my past years clothes and I can still fit. So that means I'll be using them again this year, which I really don't mind :)

The last time I updated my blog, I think I talked about working at BBQ Chicken as my second part-time job, but I quit that already. Currently still working at B&J, but I applied at TCC as service crew and I'm starting on the 3rd Sept, and boyf working there too. Yay! ♥

Things has been great in my life. Regarding my family, friends, cousins and boyfriend too ♥

I know I used to have lots of problems last time, but its getting better now. And I'm really happy. But the only sad thing pulling me down is that I might not get to move back to my Singapore house. Yes, I might be moving house. Again. Haishh. Tired :(

I'm happy with my life now, and the people around me. Yay! ♥

awesome time of my life :)

2011-08-23T05:10:00.004+08:00

Life has been awesome to me. Like seriously. I'm better now, better than last time. I know last time I used to complain about my life a lot. Yea, my life has been shitty last time. But hey, it's getting better. Really. And I'm loving it ♥

These people made my life happier ♥
We're closer now, the bond between us is stronger. And I love them to bits!

P.S
I wanted to post a longer one but I need go sleep. Got work later, and I'm not asleep yet! Lols.

too much burden...

2011-06-14T01:10:00.002+08:00

Its been a long time since I last updated my blog. And yea, im updating it right now cos I just need to clear my mind. Its the only place where I could actually free my mind. If you readers wanna judge me, go ahead. I dont give a damn. This is my blog anyway, dont like it ? Then just leave.

As you know, I have a job. But recently I took another job. And yes, if you are slow, I got two jobs now. As a scoopy, and also a waitress. My second job is at Clarke Quay, BBQ Chicken. The pay wasnt as good as what I earned at Ben&Jerry, but I dont really mind. But whats bothering me right now?

Its about me having two jobs. Somehow I just cant do it. I thought I could, but Im wrong. Im tired of doing this, having two jobs. And thinking about the reason why am I doing this in the first place. Sigh. I feel that... Im too young to carry such a burden like this. Its stressing me out. And trust me, it isnt good for me. I cant concentrate at work. I havent even work 1month at BBQ Chicken and I've already feel like giving up. Quit working. I dont wanna paitao them again, I feel so bad for doing like that to them. But I cant take it anymore.

I need someone badly )': someone who could hear me out, and guide me through this obstacles that im facing. I need boyf to be here by my side always, and never leave me. I need girlfs to listen to my problems.. But who?? sigh. )':

in need of freedom.

2011-04-19T05:26:00.003+08:00

Like this bird up here, I wanna be free. I feel like as if I'm a bird, stuck in a cage. Freedom, is what I want. I can't stand feeling like a prisoner, in my own house. Like as if this is just a huge cell, which I can never escape. I can only be free, when SHE lets me be free. Don't ask me when, I do not know myself. I don't know why, sometimes I feel like as if someone's pulling me back from having fun. To live my teenage years. I don't feel like as if my teenage years are well spent. I'm always trapped, problems keep piling up, and I never had the chance to enjoy myself, fully.

I feel like I'm treated like a small girl, and I'm sick of it ! For your information guys, I'm already a grown up. I'm not your little girl anymore, it's time for you to let me go and start trusting me! Maybe if you did long time ago, I wouldn't have come this far. I wouldn't be such a rebel like this. But don't blame, it's not my fault for turning like this. You made me who I am today.

a love story.

2011-04-15T00:54:00.003+08:00

our love story.

Ridhwan Razali. Nadiah Ali.
We've been together before, as I stated. And if you guys actually read my archives, I do have some post about him. I used to call him Belo, and then it changed to myDENDENG ♥

We've known each other for 1year, 7months and 15days. [310809]
That was the day we started to get close with each other. The "geylang day". I remembered clearly that he was being so irritating on that day. Just know me and yet, he keeps on disturbing me. Until I got so fed-up with him, hahas. And in the end, he treated me Dendeng. And that's where I got the name "myDENDENG". Which was used when I was with him.

He posted this on his blog, along with the above picture :

today marks the day of me and her officially together. hehes.
every 15th day of the month is the day where there will be a full moon.
therefore, its her favourite number. teehees.
i'm so happy for us. hee.
i certainly think that we can last long. (:

anw, i wont be updating anymore as i don't think i have time to.

and,
baby, i will love ue till my very last breathe. <3
(:

I remembered clearly how he actually asked me to be his. He was so sweet, and I really didn't expect him to do it. He met me after my dance, had dinner with his mum at Food Culture. And then, he brought me to Tamp1 rooftop. It was on the 151009. Yes, that was my favourite number. It was beautiful, the full moon. We were sitting down when he asked me to face him and close my eyes. I was wondering what he wanna do when he asked me to held out my hand. So I did. And that's when I felt a small cute pouch thingy in my hand. I opened my eyes, it was black. I was wondering what's inside it. And when he allowed me to open it, I saw a very nice ring. With his name engraved in it. And when we put the diamond together, it forms a heart. That's when he asked me, and I accepted it. (: I'm sorry baby, that we didn't last long last time. But I was glad that all of that happened, or else I wouldn't be here with you right now (:

We've been through a lot together. The hard times when we just broke up with each other last time. And when we're already okay with each other, the closeness and bonding between us. From friends to lovers and from lovers to enemies. Lastly, from friend to bestfriend and lastly now, lovers ♥ I'm really glad, that I fall in love with my bestfriend. I got to know him more better now, before being in a relationship with him. Before we were even official, we've trusted each other so much already. And I'm really glad the trust stays between us even after we're official.

The second time he asked me, was so much more sweeter. He's the first guy who's been this creative, and has been the sweetest. He brought me to Iluma, and didn't want to tell me why. And then he brought me to couple lab, and I was kinda shocked when he brought me there, and asked me to choose a ring. I was shocked because I know he don't have any money left in the bank. So okay, I trust him. Maybe he does keep some money. I asked him to choose instead, since he wanna buy for me. So he chose a ring, "emo ring" as he called it. He asked if I like it or not, and then he try it on his pinky finger and gave me to try it. (I really don't know why he did that). And then when the lady asked what we want to do, suddenly he took a receipt and said, "I actually come here to take my order". And I was like, wtf?!!!!!!! But it was really sweet of him, because no one has ever done that to me. And we went to Bedok Reservoir and sit at my favourite platform, where he asked me to be his, again ♥

Baby, this time I promise you, I will never leave you. You have my word. This time, I certainly think that we can last long (; I'm sorry about the past, how I have been treating you. If I've hurt you so much, I'm truly deeply sorry. It hurts me too, eventhough I'm the one who lets you go. But what's past is past, and I'm really glad I have this second chance to be with you again. Because if not, my life wouldn't have been this happy. (: You've changed me, you've made me a better person, you accepted me for who I am, your love is sincere. This is why I love you so much, myDENDENG ♥

wishes

2011-04-14T18:18:00.004+08:00

I miss my hubby oh-so much. ):
I know I just met him yesterday, but being away from him for only a day really makes me miss him so much. Damn, I don't know how I can survive when he's gone for NS ): I wanna meet him like, SOON! I miss his hugs and kisses, I miss cuddling with him. teehees. ^^
Baby, when are we going out to have our Texas Chicken date? teehees. ^^

I'm back home, and I don't like. I'm so bored at home, got nothing to do ): BORING!! I wanna go out!!! ~ I shall think of what to do, maybe I'm sleeping early today. 'cos mummy told me I need to go in early in the morning tomorrow. At 5am, if I'm not mistaken. So, it's either I sleep early, or don't sleep at all ! teehees. And I got no cigg to help me stay awake )): sobs.

Poor baby, has been sick for a couple of days. I wish I can do something about it, but I don't know how to make it feel better. ): I wish I'm the one who's sick, and not him. *prays* I rather me getting sick than him. So please dear god, hear my prayers. Take away his pain and his sickness, give it to me instead. Let me bear with the pain, and not him. Heal him. ^^ hees.

I really wanna learn how to make Laksa. Poor baby didn't get his Laksa. His favourite place closed down, and he is so sad. Me don't like ): One day baby, I will learn how to cook Laksa and cook it for you. This I promise you :]

I'm going in tomorrow. Saturday I'm working, doing party. Hopefully the kids are well-behaved! Sunday I'm working also. What a busy week. Oh, baby has a recording on Saturday. Have fun dear! ^^

I ate a lot this week! I need a workout! *hinthint* teehees.

stupid cut.

2011-04-13T14:48:00.003+08:00

DAMNN. I MISS HL :((( I MISS EVERYONE.

So far my life has been okay laa, not much shits to handle. I just envy those who are going to school right now. If it weren't for my mum, I would have been in school by now. Sobs :( That's one reason why I didn't tweet last Monday, because I don't wanna open my twitter and see everyone tweeting about school. :'(

I was busy for the past two days, because Monday I have to work and prepare for free cone day on Tuesday, which is yesterday. Super duper tired. And yesterday was free cone day, SO DID YOU GUYS GOT FREE ICE CREAM AT ANY BEN&JERRY'S OUTLET?? (:
It was soo tiring but I really had fun. But now, my hands are aching like hell and I got a stupid cut on my finger due to me being careless when I was holding the effing big knife. And I got myself a deep cut on my finger :(

I really can't wait for my results at the end of the month, I want time to fly faster! For this month only laa. Hehe. If I really get what I appealed for, I don't give a damn to what my parents say. I'm soo going to school ! (:

Where's all the good movies?!! I wanna go visit Diana at The Cathay and Jennifer at Raffles City. I miss them loads! ♥

busybusybusy!

2011-04-10T04:09:00.002+08:00

It's been a long time since I last blogged. Lots have changed, in my life.
Firstly, I'm not working at Heaven's Loft @ Orchard Central anymore. The place was closed down, and I was transferred to another outlet. But, still under the same company. (sucks actually =/ teehees. I don't really like the company.)
But anyway, secondly, I'm now working as a Ben&Jerry's scoopy (: the work was actually okay. It's quite fun actually, scooping ice cream for the customers. And so far I've been lucky when I was doing the parties, because the kids are quite well-behaved. But so far, I love doing party because the kids are just so adorable! ^^
Thirdly, I'm not schooling anymore. But, I tried to apply again. Because you can try and apply again for the second time. So, I'm applying for another course hoping that I would get in because I really wanna go school.

So far, my life has been going up and down. And it's really very irritating, because when I'm really really happy, i knew it won't last long. And that's the sad part of all ): Friends have been great, family not really. Work has been okay so far. Boyfriend has been the most awesome one! He has supported me all the way and were always there for me throughout the rough times. And I really really appreciate it a lot. Because if he wasn't here, I don't know who I can face this with. So thank you baby, for your care and support (;

I have great friends. Baby and I started to get really close with two of our work mates, and I feel like they're my brother and sister. I really had fun going out with them and opening up to them. I can't wait for our next outing! I miss my friends though ): I miss my scandal, Syaa. I miss my close girlfriend, Nuril. I was planning to set a date to meet her before her school start. But, I don't think I can. She's starting school on Monday already. I miss hanging out with Requiem Romantica. But I don't think there will be any outing as they're going to do a recording. Well, I really hope they would go far. You guys got my support, all the way! (;

I shall stop here for now. Till I blog again, hopefully soon! hees. Takecare! :]

i need you.

2011-03-21T20:28:00.003+08:00

Depressed. Can someone ever be this depressed? To the extend of wanting to kill yourself, just ending your life, so all of your pain would be gone. No more worrying about what your future would be like, if you were to ever choose the wrong decision. Don't have to bear with all the pain that's causing you right now.

Depressed. From all of the things that has been happening in your life. It's like a never-ending problem. Where you feel like as if you were trapped in a maze, a maze where you can't find a way out. And you are forever trapped there. No matter how much you struggle, called out for help, no one seems to hear you. No one seems to be able to help you. You're all alone, no one is there to stand by you as your world crumble down. Depressed. That's what I'm feeling right now.

I don't know why, God has to punish me like this. What did I do wrong? That made God punish me, by not giving me any happiness. Every single time when I get to feel happiness in me, God has to take it away from me by giving me more problems. I wanna be happy, even for a short while, without having to bear any consequences at the end of it. Impossible? That's what I thought.

I just wanna have a happy life, not much problems, but I can never achieve it. Things always get in the way. I know I said before, I'm not going to give up. But, I can't stand it anymore. I swear to God, I can't. Take this pain away from me. Take my life, my soul, if you want to. I just can't bear with this anymore.

i gave up.

2011-03-21T14:52:00.002+08:00

these are my family now.

Tears rolling down my cheeks, from all of this bullpoopie that has been going on in my life right now. I'm so sick of it, getting scolded almost every single time. They just don't seem to wanna take a break, and destroy my life, bits by bits. I didn't even do anything but yet, and I'm getting scolded for something I didn't start. I didn't start this war, she did. I didn't want to make things worse, but she made me do it. I've gotten myself involve in this, there's no way out. One solution, that will lead to my happy ending. Unsure of what to do, but yet I got to keep on moving forward. I'm not going to worry about my future, if this solution is what I'm going to follow. I'll just go along with it, and see what my future holds for me.

Pack my bags, is what I'm going to do. Pack my bags, leave this place. A place where once its been called my home. A place where I run to every single time my heart gets broken, be it because of my friends, or the boys I once loved. A place where once I feel safe from all the bullpoopie that has been happening in my life. Friends left me, one by one, and I don't know why. What is my fault? Or theirs? A question which I will never know the answer. But I know this place, a place where I once called my home, will make me feel safe and happy again. Where I know this place, the people live in, which I once called my family, will always have my back. But I was wrong. I felt betrayed, I felt like as if they're turning their back on me.

Every time I came back home, I don't feel the love in this place like I used to. I don't feel safe anymore, being here. I don't feel happy, always sad and depressed. This isn't a place I should be, not anymore. I'm not going to stay and break my heart even more every single day. So I've made up my mind, I'm going to find a place to live and get out of this house. They left me with no choice. So, I'm packing my bags and leave. Forever I will, and never turning back. Not gonna look back, just going to move forward. But they will never be forgotten, never be abandoned. Maybe one day I'll come back, but not to live again with them, but going to help them, for all the things I've done towards them. I'm going to pay them back for all the things I've used.

Don't come find me, I'll run away as far as I can. Don't try to contact me, as I will never answer. I'll be independent, don't worry about me. I can survive, without any of you. I don't need the help of you guys anymore, I can live on my own. I'm done fighting. I'm going away, ain't gonna be a burden no more. Don't come looking for me, as I'm going to run away as far as I could...

haters.

2011-03-21T02:18:00.003+08:00

I'm so irritated with people right now, lots of people. I don't want to mention any names here. I just wish I could just take a gun and shoot them in the heart. Make them bleed, and suffer. Today was a fucked up day, due to some people. And every single day I just keep hating the person more and more. Makes me just wanna pack up my bags and leave.

I'm back from my holidays, as you can see. And it's not fun, to me. Eventhough it's with my family. But who the hell cares? If I can, I just wanna leave this house. Seriously. When are they gonna kick me out of the house? I'm waiting. I don't give a fuck about you people anymore. The faster I get out of this house, the better it is for me. I'm seriously done with all the attitude. You can say I've changed, but I don't see no difference in me. But you know what? I don't even give a damn.

Blame it on my boyfriend, but it was never his fault. Blame it on me. Maybe I've changed. Maybe I'm still the same, I don't fucking care. Hate me for all you want. It's up to you. It's your life, ain't mine to control it. I don't give a damn if you hate me. For all I care, go ahead.

I love my boyfriend, and I will forever love him. No one can change what I think about him, ever. So don't even think of putting words in my mind about him, because my feelings towards him will never change. Maybe one day I'll run away with him, from all of these bullpoopie going on here. I have a future with him, I know I do. And trust me when I say, no one can change it.

P.S
kalau jealous, cakap jer laaa.
I know you want it, to bad you dont have it.
(siaper makan chilli terase pedas nyer)

on a holiday.

2011-03-12T20:27:00.002+08:00

I'm currently having my holidays right now.
Yes, the one that I do not wish to go, especially without my baby. But, I got no other choice. I have to go, I need to go, because I can't escape from it.
One week without baby, I really wish I can survive. Maybe I can? But, I won't feel the fun-ness of the holiday which I'm supposed to feel =/

Baby,
I miss you. So very much. And I'm pretty sure Shmelly misses you a lot too. But obviously, I miss you even more. I don't know if I can have much fun without you being here. I mean, I don't know why, but I keep seeing you everywhere. And it hurts, it really does. Because at that point of time, I really wish you were here with me. I hate seeing couples everywhere. Mostly, I really hate seeing sister and Fadeyl together. Because they made me miss you so much!
I don't know why, but I keep on imagining and thinking what it would be like if you were here with me. Where would you sit, what would you do, how you would react. Everything. See how much this is hurting me?
I want you here with me baby, but I know that's impossible. Therefore, I'm going to try my very best not to say it a lot. But I really want you to know that I'm really missing you so much, more than I could ever do. I love you my hubby, please don't forget me, my love.

unhappy me

2011-03-02T01:27:00.003+08:00

Few days left, to spend time with baby. I'm going for a holiday soon, and I can feel the pressure and sadness already =/

Too many things running in my mind right now, too many things for me to handle. I shouldn't be thinking of all those stuffs, but I can't help it. It keeps on coming back, no matter how much I've tried pushing them away. They just don't seems to wanna go away, and I hate it. I don't wanna think about it, but I got no other choice. Haishh.

I'm sad, that baby can't follow me to go holiday with my family. Everything has been planned out smoothly. And I still remember when we talked about playing Monopoly Deal with my whole family. Guess, that plan is out. Haishh. I know it's way over already and I'm not supposed to talk about it. But I can't help it, you know. It keeps on haunting me. Whenever I think about it, I can just burst into tears. That's how badly I wanted baby to go, but nothing can be changed now :(

I'm upset about what is happening with my life right now, about my studies. I don't know if I want to continue schooling or not, I'm still thinking but I really don't know what to do. I've talked to many people already, but I still haven't made up my mind yet. I was planning to re-take my Olevels but I know mummy doesn't support me. She don't even allow me! What am I supposed to do now? I have no idea.

Parents keep on nagging, don't they get tired of talking? Well, I'm getting tired of listening already. Every single time, the same old thing. Never change, never a new topic. Can't you guys move on already? Can you guys stop making this hard for me? I'm trying to move on, but how can I when you guys keep on talking about it? If this goes on, I can never be happy. Haishh.

P.S
I wanna start reading books.

Music takes me away from reality.

2011-02-24T02:17:00.003+08:00

Music really takes me away from reality, even if it will only last for a short period of time.
But for that period of time, all your problems would be gone.
But you know that you need to wake up and realize that this is reality that you need to face. You can't run away from your problems. Even if you drown yourself in alcohol, once you're sober, those problems just come running back to you. Reality, a world that I need to survive in.

Life is unfair. Never easy. Full of challenges.
Everyday is a new beginning, a new challenge that you need to overcome. God is testing us, in every way, to make us stronger. And to be a better person. But I think God is being unfair to me. Problems always keeps on coming to me. I can be happy, but for only a short period of time, and then everything starts to tear apart.

I found the love of my life, but at the same time, things started to go wrong in my family. I felt like as if there's a huge gap between my family and I. I'm starting to grow apart from them. But as time goes by, I stand tall, trying my best not to break down. With baby by my side, I know I can go through these hard times. Things were then okay, but then another problem came running along. His family. I rather not say anything about it. Now, I have to face another problem. I gotta be strong, and go through this. But, I'm becoming more and more weaker.

God keeps on testing me, I don't know if I can keep up. I don't know if I could still stand tall after all of this challenges. Every night became a sleepless night for me. Thinking of all the problems, running around in my mind and doesn't seems to wanna stop for me to rest and have a good night. Everyday I only had a couple of hours to sleep, black circles are appearing under my eyes. Eye bags are starting to appear, my face seems dull. There's no more light and sunshine coming out from my face, like I can't bring happiness to anyone.

But I'm staying strong, and I'm not giving up.

lift the burden off me :(

2011-02-21T01:05:00.002+08:00

I don't know what I am feeling right now.
Can somebody just lift this burden off from my shoulder ? ;(
I can't take it anymore. It's killing me slowly inside. I don't show it on the outside, but I'm hurting inside. I feel like I'm gonna breakdown anytime soon. ='/

Work was boring just now. And tiring, due to not enough sleep. I slept at 6am yesterday and I woke up at 9.30am. I overslept, was supposed to wake up at 9am and wake Baby up too. But anyway, work extended till 6pm, 'cos not enough staff. And Baby ate the staff meal before we headed off to Bedok Reservoir. Before that, we went to Centre Point to withdraw money and buy drinks and cigarettes at 7-eleven. Took 65, and I slept throughout the whole journey :D yes, I was that tired. Hehes. Went to McDonald's and bought McChicken and Double Cheeseburger. Went to a void deck and ate our burger and just hang around.

We had some misunderstandings just now. But everything's alright now :) I love that about us. Like whenever we had an argument or something, we always solve it as soon as possible and not drag it. I love him so much ♥

Sometimes I just wonder if you ever really know me, you know. Like, if you ever understand me. Like, take the time to actually understand why I sometimes acted that way. That kind of thing, you know. I love you, I really do. And I will never leave you, that's a promise I will forever keep. I swear. But I just want you to stop doing the things you always do that keeps on hurting me. Don't keep on doing this to me, because I love you too much to stay mad at you forever.

i wish...

2011-02-20T01:12:00.003+08:00

spent the whole day today in msia. kinda miss here actually.
on friday, i got work. and its fucking a lot of ppl ! and we are short of staff. there's only one full-timer but he work in loft. dining no full-timer. our supervisor like not helping at all laaa. we're like running around the restaurant, me and aline, taking orders, serving ice water. luckily half-way terry came helping us. i was like halfway wanna faint already. some more i didnt eat anything, i only ate breakfast. i got not enough energy. and cigg finish already. goshh =/ but in the end, everything okay. and baby tell me his story about all of his ex. i know it the past, but somehow idk why i just felt like i kena stabbed in the heart like that. idk why! mayb im jealous? idk arhs... =/ well, wait till he hear my past. i bet he's gonna be afraid. xP

today i ate a lot. well, i woke up and i need to help my mum in the kitchen. after that, yanneNENE came to our house and soon after, her mum and grandma came too. and then we ate tgt (: its soo uber nicee that i add more ricee!!! :D aft that, yanneNENE accompany me bathe :D i told her about the talk me and bby had about his past. haha. and some thing happened in the toilet but i rather not say it here. xD went to her house and we watched dance flick and peter pan. goshh! jeremy sumpter is uber hot !!!!!!!!!! meltssssssssss ~
after that we went down and eat again ! hahaha! this time, there's soooo many sambal !!! i loikeeee!! ~ got black pepper crab. sambal sotong. sambal udang. and the siput sedut sambal. ^^ and we went up to smoke and we went down to karaoke! :D hahas.

tomorrow im going in spore, working. aftnn shift. aft that, can go spend some quality time wit boyf :D yay!! cant wait !! hehes.

i wish boyf could follow me go holiday. boyf, i want you to go. can? pretty pleaseeee??? =(

sad holiday.

2011-02-18T00:07:00.004+08:00

well, the plan didn't really work. i spent the whole day today at home, wit my mum.

i cooked for both of us maggi curry. and im soo proud of myself for doing that :) because as you should know, i sucked at cooking. hehe. and im quite envy of baby because atleast he knows how to cook nasi goreng and i don't. ;( but anyway, i make some tea for the both of us. and after that, watched tv all the way.

and then mum opens up the topic about the holiday. whether baby confirm going or not. and i said to her, im not going. she was shocked, and she ask me why not. soo i told her that i am going to accept the course and that means, i need to go to school. and the day that i need to go to school is when we're having the holiday. so, im gonna stay behind and not go. because i wanna go to school. and there she goes, she started nagging that i need to go. that she already told me since the beginning that everyone is going. and i told her that i also have told her since the beginning that i didn't want to go. and then she started to get a lil angry and asked me where am i going to stay. i cant stay at my bro's house cos there's no way he's gonna let me be alone at his house. and there's no way i can stay at yanne's hse because they're going too. and i keep on telling her non-stop that i didn't want to go. and now? i dont know what to do already. haishh. uber stress. ;(

but what do i really want?
i really wish that baby could follow me and my family go on this holiday. it would really meant a lot to me. and i've been spending so much time with his family that now, i really felt that it is his time now. to spent some quality time with my family. i mean, things have to be fair right? and i wanted him to go so badly because i want him there with me. i don't want to leave him behind. i can't bear to be separated from him for 10days. i just can't. ;( and the places that we're going, i've been to all of the places before. and now i'm going to the same places again. i want baby to experience the feelings i had when i first come to the places. i want baby to know where i always go with my family. i want baby to see all the places that i've gone. and i just want baby to have fun, especially with my family. but i know it's impossible. i just wish.... haishh...

Wishing upon a star ♥

i still love you in the end.

2011-02-17T02:40:00.003+08:00

I had an awesome Valentine's Day wit my bby. (:
Well, my plan was ruined though. Thanks to my bby. I planned to watch movie at Downtown East at 2.30pm, but he didn't wanna wake up. And in the end, we were late for it so we didn't watch. We went to Tamp instead and had Cheesy Curry Chicken and Starbucks :)
After that, we decided to go to town. So, we went to The Cathay and bought our movie ticket. We re-planned everything. And we watched Just Go With It at 7pm, The Grand Cathay. The cinema is fucking big, I feel like I'm watching a musical or something. Lols. And the movie is seriously awesome! MUST WATCH! Oh and we had Popeyes before watching the movie.
Then we headed to Heaven's Loft, our workplace, for dessert :) I didn't expect him to order the Valentine's Day cake. He actually did and surprised me by serving it to me personally. I was really happy. Oh and I forgot to mention that he bought me a small colourful carebear that me and bby called him Shmelly ^^ He surprised me on bed. Hahas. Drank a pint of Heineken and we went to Macds to have our Supper. Hang around and he headed home. Overall, I really love Valentine's Day this year =)

Eventhough I may get irritated because my plan for him was ruined. And I'm kinda irritated also because I didn't wanna watch at the Grand Cathay. But in the end, it was okay. And I'm kinda sad because we are supposed to be eating at Pizza Hut and I'm already looking forward to it. But in the end, we didn't. ;( But, I still do love the unplanned Valentine's Day ♥

Oh and, I didn't get in to the course I appealed for :( I was thrown to ITE College West instead which many ppl say would be at CCK. Fucking far siaaa! ;( and I got Service Management. Sucks to the core! Pfft ! But I'm accepting the course though, a reason that I could use so I no need follow my family go the 10days-holiday and stay wit bby :)

its been soo long !

2011-02-13T01:26:00.002+08:00

its been soo long since i last update my blog. sorry, i have been away from the laptop for quite a long time. didnt have much time to switch on the laptop due to work, and spending time wit my bby (:

i have been waiting for the day my results for appealing my course. i really hope i get in the course so i can go to school. bcos or else, i got to work. and that means, NO POCKET MONEY! ): sobs.. yes, parents dont wanna give me pocket money. soo bad right? i know ): haishh. and i got to buy a lot of things some more, all using my own money. so unfair ):
and i cant wait for valentines day too! bcos im going out wit bby! and its tmr! (: gotta think of what to wear.. but i think i know what to wear already. teehees. bby doesnt know, i still havent plan what to do in the afternoon! hahas. bcos we make a deal that i plan on what to do in the afternoon and he plan on what to do in the evening. soo, i need to think by tonight! but i still got one more day left, im sure i can figure something out. like i always say, i'll find a way (:

i really had so much fun for the past few days just spending time wit bby. and work has become so much more awesome. bcos the ppl are really opening up and really fun to work with! and i teach most of the part-timers bad things! haha. when they do or say bad stuffs, they would go like. "this one, nadiah teach." wit their china accent. hahaha! soo cute. x) but i really miss working wit mel and hakim. its been soo long since i last work wit them. kinda miss them. oh and, jason too! hahas. tmr working wit jonathan, confirm fun! (: and hopefully the scoopy is the friendly one! teehees.

i cut my hair already, like finally. bby say its nice. and i go like, "just wait till tmr. confirm not nice=/" but i finally get rid of my long fringe. sadly, i need to tie my hair for work tmr. haishh. oh and, bby cut his hair too. its cutee, really :) short, but acceptable (: till here, waiting for bby to call me. PS ! hahaha. bye!

lucky im in love with my bestfriend (:

2011-02-08T02:58:00.002+08:00

I'm feeling so down right now. Somehow I just feel that everything is falling apart. My world is falling apart. I've been crying so badly, I just couldn't stop. I know it's not worth it to cry anymore since it has already happened. And I can't turn back the time and change everything. But I'm just sad. And I just feel that no one actually understand how I'm feeling right now.

My eyes are swollen, from all the crying. At one point, I really feel like breaking down and just cry without doing anything. Like giving up on everything, giving up on my life. But I know I can't. I know I gotta keep on living, and just see what's in store for me. Like, what's gonna happen to me in the future. But, I really don't know if I could hold on much longer. I'm not strong enough, to go through this on my own.

Baby, I'm sorry for the last post. I know what I said pisses you off. I'm just feeling so mad just now and I didn't mean to post any of those. And I'm really sorry about it. And I'm sorry also, for making you cry. You said I always get what I want. But hey, I don't okay. I don't always get what I want. And I'm sorry if I pisses you off with the things I've said to you. You gotta understand that I'm not me right now. I'm not feeling myself right now. I'm feeling so down and so fucked up. So please understand that, and don't make me feel so much more upset than I'm already am. But honestly, thanks. For still staying by my side through all of these shits that I'm going through right now. I know sometimes I might be stubborn because I don't wanna heed your advice. But just bear with me, one day I will actually follow your advice. But for now, just bear with me if I'm talking shits or anything.

P.S Lucky I'm in love with my bestfriend ♥

IM SO FUCKING PISSED.

2011-02-08T01:17:00.004+08:00

sorry for not updating for quite a long time. like i said on my previous post, its been a busy week.
nothing much happened. except for the part where daddy scolded me, due to many reasons. and i swear to god im gonna fall anytime soon, but im really trying my best to stay strong. i really am! im falling apart, and nobody seems to care... =/
but the next day, he bought for me an ice-cream. idk why, but he did. imma daddy's girl :D
nothing much happened last week. my sunday plan all ruined cos i got no money ):

my pay is supposed to be today, but we didnt receive it ! and, no one tell us anything about it. bby got to know that we will be receiving our pay on the 10th instead, and no one tell us! fucked up company! i swear to god that im gonna find another job if this continues!

oh and, im also pissed at another thing. my dad! not really fucking pissed, but a lil. now i really need to pray hard that im gonna get the course that i appealed for. if not, i cant go to school ! ): why? because daddy didnt check our spore's hse letterbox. and i was waiting for the letter from ite telling us we need to accept the course. and now when i've received the letter, it is stated that i need to accept between 27jan to 1feb. and im too lateeeeee!!! ): soo hopefully i get the course i appealed for, or else i wont be going to school till next year. and daddy ask me to work the whole year ): so i can save money. haishh.

and im also pissed at my sister. because why? i've troubled myself JUST to buy for her famous amos cookies. and then she didnt even bother to text me and tell me that she's going hme wit me and daddy tonight. and then, she didnt even go to esplanade. we need to fetch her frm my bro's house. why im mad? because if i know that we need to take her at my bro's hse, bby do not need to go hme alone and daddy can send him home. poor bby need to go hme himself, all alone, and he needs to take the train hme when his ezlink not much value left. fuck you sis!

and the last thing im mad at, its my dearest bby. i dont wanna elaborate much about it. im just upset that he penting kan game more than me! pfft ! ): da, bye.

a busy week.

2011-01-31T18:36:00.003+08:00

this week is gonna be such a busy week for me.
no time to relax, gotta do everything that i need to do.

like today, im supposed to do something but i dont really have the stuffs wit me right now. soo, im short of time. but its okay, im still gonna do it cos i have to. i want to. nevermind, i'll find a way (:

will be working this thurs till sun. i wanna sleep in spore but mummy doesnt allow me to ): im soo sick and tired of this. i really am. i want my freedom back. i hate my life now.

i feel like as if im fighting for our love on my own. its soo hard, to bear wit the pain that im going through right now. mummy keep on blaming boyf for the things that he doesnt do. all the wrong things i do its bcos of me, and not boyf, but mummy thinks its him and it hurts me. i fight for him, for his right. i won, but i lost too. bcos now i lost mummy's trust. and soon, im gonna lose everything. im staying strong, and fighting for our love. but i just cant do it alone, it hurts :'(

the pain.

2011-01-24T01:52:00.002+08:00

ouchhhhhh !!!!!!
the pain is seriously unbearable. ):
i dont know if i can wait for another one more day.
i dont know if i can survive the pain.
its just too much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! D':

angry? sad? i dont know.

2011-01-24T01:14:00.002+08:00

I don't know why I'm feeling so angry right now . At the same time , I'm feeling sad too .
I was out the whole day with family, and baby stayed at home like he promised.
Yes, I know I should be happy. I am happy that he actually stays at home, and listen to me. I'm proud of him for actually listening to me, and finish up his projects.

When I got home, I was online. We chatted for awhile and the next thing I know, he told me that he was going to play online games with his friend. And I was like , wtf ?
It feels like we don't even talk much, there's so much to tell, and then he needs to go off.
So I'm like, its okay. He deserves it, after doing his project today.
It was already 11.30pm, and he showed me "Whose line is it anyway".
Yes, I laughed. And then I searched for Gossip Girl, 'cos that's the drama I wanted him to watch.
11.45pm, 15more minutes to the time he needs to play.
So, I just wanted to ask him to watch the trailer and he suddenly said, "Oh, they wanna play now." And there I go again , wtf?
So from my mood of letting him go play, suddenly I'm so mad. And so pissed off.
I can't believe he just ditched me. I lost my mood, completely.

I was so mad that I went offline. Then I offline back 1hour later. And I texted him goodnight.
I wanted to sleep, and just ignore the feeling of angry-ness that I have towards him.
But somehow, I just can't sleep. And he was right, I can't sleep without waiting for him =/
I hate it when I can only stay mad at him for a short period of time, because I love him so much. I'm not that angry with him, but I just lost my mood to talk to him. Haishh ;'(

sick ? =/

2011-01-23T15:24:00.002+08:00

What did I do on Friday ? Hmmmmms. Oh right, I got work. Hees.
Went in and met up with Syaa, saw her going to the shop near my brother's place.
So i called her, and she told me she needs to buy some stuffs 'cos her aunt wanna cook.
So ? I accompanied her :D
After that, sent the stuffs at her aunt's house and she brought her baby along, Arianna.
She's uber cute laaaa ! Hahas.
Syaa wanted to eat 'cos she's hungry, so we went to Macd's.
You know what ? BEDOK NORTH SEC KIDS are fucking irritating !
We were eating and from outside, the knock the glass and show me hand signs.
You know what signs? They wanted my number. -_-
IM ATTACHED LAAAAAA ! pfft.
At that point of time, I really wish baby was there with me. So they won't disturb me! Pfft.
Baby met us at Macd's. Then he accompanied me to my brother's house 'cos I need to pass some things to my dad. And we went to Bedok Inter.
We bought ciggs and off to work! (:
Work was tiring. After that, baby sent me to my dad. And I went back home :)

Saturday I went in Singapore to follow baby go his jamming.
Daddy sent me off at OC, and I went to Ubi after that to meet baby. Hahas.
Like bad girl seyyy =/ I've got to stop doing this ! Hehehe. x)
Went to Outram Park, met up with his bandmates outside 7-eleven.
And I swear to god I hate that 7-eleven ! Irritating siaaa.
Don't have the promotion already, then don't want to put it down ? Stupid foreigners.
Oh and Afee tag along btw, and fyi I'm NOT a foreigner. I'm still a Singaporean okay!
Jamming till about 6pm and head to REX to have dinner (:

After that, we walked to OC and I had dessert !! Ben&Jerry's Mix&Match! :D
Met up again with Jeremy there, and we walked to Takashimaya because Jeremy wanted to "redeem" his girlfriend. Lols. We waited outside 'cos we wanted to smoke.
Baby received a text from Jeremy saying he was dragged to Wisma Atria. Lols.
So we met him there. Part ways wit Sal. Walked around and ended up, we all went home.
I mean, they did. Me and baby headed to City Hall 'cos he sent to my dad's place and he accompanied me till by dad finish working. And that's like, 12am. Lols.
So we watched P.S I love you on my iPhone while wating for daddy.
In the end, daddy sent baby home and we went home :)

I don't know what's wrong with me lately.
My waist area there hurts so badly, I pee-d a lot of times per day. And sometimes, there's even blood when I pee-d. And I'm not having my period. ):
Baby asked me to tell my mum, but I don't want to. I wanna go checkup first then I tell.
I'm going for a checkup on Tuesday, Nuril is accompanying me.
Hopefully, nothing's wrong with me. Amin. (:

movie marathon .

2011-01-20T22:11:00.002+08:00

what did i do today?
well, basically, i did nothing much today.
i had a movie marathon today, and i love all the movies that i picked out.
they're all awesome :)
watched this Malay movie while having my lunch.
after that, talked on the phone wit Yanne while watching a tv series on E!
was bored, so I decided to watch some movies instead.

First = The Malay movie
Second = Magika (another Malay movie)
Third = Charlie St. Cloud
Fourth = Going the distance

wanted to have another one, but mummy decided to control the tv instead. hehhs.
so maybe later i go up to my sister's room or something, and watch another movie maybe.
wanted to sleep, but really not in the mood. hmmmm, i dont know =/

am really upset wit bby. im just... i dont know. i know i shouldnt be mad at him, its not entirely his fault. i dont want him to feel bad and thinking that every fight we had is always his fault. some of it are mine too. but how can he put something else first instead of me? haishh ='/ i love him, i really do.. i cant stay mad at him forever.. but still, a tear has fell to the ground. ='(

5days straight.

2011-01-20T11:59:00.003+08:00

i really miss dancing ;(

after sooo long of not updating my blog, here i go... its gonna be a long post (depends if i can rmb every single thing that has happened), so be prepared . teehees. xP

Last Saturday i followed bby go jamming, and i was supposed to go back msia at night but i didnt.
let me tell you why...
after jamming, we went to town and had our dinner there. we ate at Wendy's, my first time eating there! and the food is niceeeee :D but me and bby so-called promised each othttp://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=7963816819097434537her that we would never go to Tampines Wendy's. Due to some reason, not to be mentioned here. hehe.
after that, we went to Plaza Singapura and met up wit afee and his "mistress". we walked around there, and then we played mono deal. and me and jeremy are getting fucking bored. hahas.
and then jeremy told us that he is watching a midnight movie wit his girlf and invited us along. ofcourse i was TEMPTED to go, but i couldnt cos i need to go back msia.. BUT, an evil mind always find a way to get what she wants.... hehehe.
we went to cineleisure to play TimeZone. and i beat bby and afee in daytona, and came FIRST :)

met up wit Zaidi, and i won Zaidi in daytona too :D and in a motor race, and we shoot some hoops together. (: aft that, had some misunderstandings wit bby, and i feel like thats the longest time me and bby didnt talk to each other when we're together. if you get what i mean.
i really hate that feeling, of not talking to bby when he is just right there wit me. i feel like crying, but also im mad at the same time. i feel like talking to him, but i dont wanna give in that easily. that kind of thing.
but in the end, i did talk wit him and we're okay.. :D and then, afee and zan went home. me, bby, jeremy, his girlf and zaidi went to Plaza Singapura and we watched All Good Things and went home. the movie was okay lahh...

On Sunday, i met up wit bby at his house. and when we wanted to have a movie marathon, he just rmbered that he got werk :( was uber sad cos i was really looking forward to have a scary movie marathon wit him.. haishh.. but its okay, there's always next time (:
he went to werk and i went to Chef Kenny and met up wit Syaa there. Attend a birthday party on behalf of bby. it was okay laaaa, but i think it would be soo muchh fun wit bby there ;( but you know what? i ate TWO choco cakes siaaaa! which has freaking a lot of cream! hahas.
then me and Syaa went to expo to take a walk around. and we shared Dendeng and orange julius.
After that, Syaa head to Tampines to werk and i went to OC to fetch bby from werk :)
and then we went to Plaza Singapura and ate KFC, because bby is hungry. and then we bought Fried Mars Balls :) soo guess what happened?? SUGAR RUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahaha.
and all the way in the bus to Bedok, me and bby was effing hyper! HAHAS. and i really like it, spending time like that wit bby :))
we met Jeremy and Zan at Mr. Teh Tarik at bedok, and i was like effing hyper! haha. the first time they see me like that. xD we hangout around bedok and me and bby had some misunderstanding. AGAIN. but like i said, we always solve things out asap! :) aft that, met wit daddy and sis at my brother's place. and i went back home.

was supposed to work on Monday, but mummy asked me to take off. so bby replace me, and i work on Tuesday instead. skip to Tuesday. went out wit bby and yanne, had lots of fun! we're like 3drunk ppl ! hahas. but ofcourse we're not drunk laaaa. aft that, yanne went to her dad's workshop and me and bby went to Somerset cos we got werk. bought CaramelCrisp popcorn and Caramel Frappucino at Starbucks and hangout there. we played Mono deal and bby was happy cos he finally beat me! hahas. cos i beat him TWICE before, when i just learnt how to play. xP after that, we went to werk and we were uber early! hahas. and we slack before werk wit hana. time goes by fast because i keep on going to the toilet ! lols. idk, i just have this feeling that something is wrong wit me... =/ till now.. i cant take it anymore, but i dont want go doc :( after that, i went in msia wit daddy.

yesterday, i went in singapore and met up wit bby. cooked for him Macaroni&Cheese for breakfast :) and sorry yanne dear, that i didnt pick up your calls. or never reply your msges.. not that i do it on purpose, but i really couldnt hear. im soo sorry ;( but i'll make it up to you, i swear i would. love you cuzzie... ;( spent time wit bby. he did his project and i accompanied him.. but i feel soo useless, because i cant help him wit his project. cos i dont know how ;( sorry bby ;(
bby's mum bought for us dinner, and then bby sent me to esplanade :))
we had some talk wit each other. love spending time wit him ^^
after that, met up wit mummy and daddy and they sent bby at paya lebar and home sweet home :)

okay, thats enough about this post. if you managed to read till here, then congrats to you :)) hahas.

new job?

2011-01-15T01:54:00.002+08:00

I'm back home, in Malaysia right now. Slept in Singapore on Thursday.
Well, I've updated my blog on that day. After I updated my blog, i went to Macd to eat wit my Sister, her boyf, and her schoolmates. Ate McChicken but sadly, Macd doesnt have mayo anymoreeee!!!!!!!!!!!!! :(

Took 60 to the MDIS building there, and fatin board the bus halfway and im soo happy to see her!!!! hahas. its been a long time since i last hang out wit her, and catch up on things. the last was results day, and we didnt talk muchh about our life. but anyway, after that i took 7 to work. and finally, bby called me. well, basically you can go to my Bby's blog for what happened next. Im too lazy to update. hehe.
But work was fun on that day. I helped out at Loft since dining isnt that a lot of people. and seriously, working wit Troy and Aline is uber fun! Especially Troy! :D

today i was supposed to wake up early and cut my hair before meeting bby, but i was too tired ! hehe. waited for bby at Eunos fucking long siaaaaa!!! =/ but not really mad at him :)
we went to Chef Kenny, cos he wanted his pasta! and he upsized it. end up, we are both fucking full and feels like vomitting! haha. Syaa finished her work and she went off wit us, but we separated at Tanah Merah. we headed to Somerset cos we start work at 6pm.

Baby sent me off to meet my dad at Eunos, and home sweet home :)
tomorrow im going in to follow baby go jamming (:

i gotta be strong.

2011-01-13T15:28:00.003+08:00

i've just submitted my JAE registration today. without anyone's help =/

i just hope my decisions are right, and i hope i get the course that i want. im soo nervous, and scared that i submitted the wrong decision.. but lets just pray =/

im sleeping in spore today, last minute my sis told me in the morning. im kinda happy that im sleeping in spore today, cos that means i wont be around my family and have that awkward-ness. and i get to have late night calls wit Bby (:

im currently at my bro's house, no one's home. thats why i can use their computer to submit the JAE thingy and update my blog, while waiting for my werk to start at 7pm.. going to werk alone today ): cos bby is currently in school, and he finishes at 6pm. haishh.

and my favourite niece, Ayu, is currently sick right now. she has high fever, 40.1degC. :(

everything's not going soo well for me.. things are like going worser. haishh ;(

i really had fun ytd, but when im back in the car wit my family, suddenly my mood just go down. because i really feel like soo unwanted anymore, and i hate that feeling. =/ i just wish i could be wit Bby all the time...

i really need someone right now, to give me a hug and tell me that everything's gonna be alright. and im really hoping that someone is him but... =/ im sick and tired of crying, but i just cant help it. thinking about everything that's going on in my life right now, its just too muchh for a girl like me to handle. too muchh stuffs is in my head. :( atleast when i cry, im letting out all of my feelings.. but sadly, he isnt even there for me. texted him, and he didnt even reply. was expecting him to call me, but sadly, hopes down, he didnt :(

i just... i dont know. i feel soo vulnerable at this point of time, soo fragile.. i get sad easily, pissed off, (but im not having PMS).. and i kinda threw it all out on him. and i feel soo bad =/

P.S

Bby, im sorry if you feel like you're my punching bag. Well, you're not. Trust me, and i still want you. I know im wrong for treating you this way, I feel as though i've been a bad girlfriend and i cant even make you feel better. but instead, i made you feel like as if i've treated you like shyt. and im really sorry, cos i really didnt mean to. For the past few days, my mood hasnt been doing soo good. im soo stress and soo sad right now, please understand. please just be patience with me whenever i talk to you some negative stuffs. i know you dont like, but just listen and be patience. cos thats the time when i tell you my deepest darkest feelings, and the only way to make me feel better is letting it out. im sorry Bby, please be patience with me and stay by my side through these times... I love you, soo muchh. haishh =/

i should be feeling better by now =/

2011-01-13T01:01:00.002+08:00

wooooops! teehees. xP

i really had a great day today, spent wit bby and our friends. and syaa too :)

i went in early today. i slept almost 5am last night, cos i couldnt sleep. and i woke up like 7am. only 3hrs of sleep.. like, wtf? -_- but anyway, i went in spore and reach my bro's area around 10plus? and i decided to meet my Scandal, Syaa, bcos its been a long time since i last met her. 2weeks you know!!! hahas. i really miss hanging out with her..

met up wit Syaa and we spent hours and hours in macd just catching up on each other's life. hahas. waited for Bby to finish school, and he met up wit us at macd and we had lunch together (: aft that, he went back home to BATHE. xP hahas. and we went out to Bedok.

we decided to go Bedok Point, and goshh, the shopping centre fucking boring siaaa!! -_-
but the fun part about going there was, me and Bby decided to play... ARCADE! hahas!
it was freaking awesome laaaa, cos we played guitar hero. and i won, TWICE.
i won to a guitarist. hahas! =P
played a few car race games, and shoot some hoops.. i really had fun.
and Jeremy, Zaidi and Zan met us there. and Jeremy helped me bought bubble tea. fucking expensive siaaaa! hahas.

ate at Banquet and we hang out around Bedok.. really awesome, wit all the jokes.. and the talks wit Zaidi.. and spending time wit Bby.. it really did cheered me up, and im soo happy that i met up wit them.. they never fails to make me smile :) took 60, met up wit daddy and go in msia.

P.S
Bby, thanks for the awesome day today. You really make me feel better. And dont worry Bby, we'll go to Chef Kenny one day and go get your pasta okay? (: Thanks for staying by my side through all of these shits, you have no idea how thankful and blessed i am right now, to have someone like you ♥

cheer up nadiah...

2011-01-11T20:39:00.003+08:00

goshh. the stitch uber cutee laaaa!! ^^

okay, back to serious stuffs now.
hmmmmm. =/ i really dont know what to do now..

i've talked to my mum about this. at that point of time, i really felt like thats the end of the world. when she didnt allow me to study anymore, not even go ite, im like, thats it. thats the end of my life. she wont even support me or sponsor me if i wanna retake my olvls. i really dont know what to do next..

im on the verge of giving up already. i swear i am. but thank god that i got friends that helps me get through wit this.. i thought no one cares anymore, i thought i got no more friends.. but i was wrong. ppl did care of what im gonna do. they dont let me give up. they convinced me to do something about it, and not give up. soo, im nott.

what im gonna do next?
im gonna conviced daddy to let me go ite and study. i gotta be strong and accept everything that is happening right now.. if daddy doesnt let me go ite, then fine. i guess i wont be studying anymore. for now. but im gonna werk hard and collect enough money and retake my olvls. its either that, or i secretly apply for ite and make my way to poly.. xD hehes.

now i need my loved ones to help me make a choice, and support me. i dont need my mum and dad if they have given up on me. i dont need them to study, im gonna stand up and werk my way to achieve my dreams.. im not giving up. (:

devastated :'(

2011-01-11T02:39:00.003+08:00

missing him right now ='/

sorry if my last post was kinda, like a lazy post.
i wasnt allowed to post anything bad on my blog, esp about werk, because bby's gonna be mad at me. and today post isnt gonna be that long, because im starting to feel soo sleepy already.. and im soo not in the mood...

i went to eat Swensens wit bby, sister and her boyf on sunday. its on me and bby.
everything went smoothly, except for some parts, which i rather not talk about it here.
and i got my results just now, which was like, FUCK!!!!! =/
i did badly for my olvls, and im soo disappointed in myself..
i dont wanna post muchh about it right now, mayb tmr, because im really not in the mood.

went to United Square to meet kak ina, which is bby's sister, and also my werk manager.
helped her out wit her ppt, because she got lots of other stuffs to do. and im being helpful (:
went lavender for dinner, ard her hse, met up wit her hubby and my boyf.
went her hse aft that and cont wit the ppt..
watched xmen while doing the ppt. hehes.
daddy fetched me frm there and straight home.

thank you to kak ina, for the hug. it was unexpected. for talking to me about my results, and knocking some sense into me. that i gotta accept it and live it. just move on, and go to the next step. im really thinking hard about whats my next step.
many thanks to all my friends who calmed me down and talk things out wit me. making me realise that its not the end of the world yet.
thank you yanne, for the talk. calming me down, talking things out wit me about what im gonna do next. same goes to my elder sister. and thank you sis for buying for me the chocolate, my favourite chocolate (: reminds me of the time when you didnt do soo well for your olvl and i bought for you your favourite chocolate. that was very sweet of you.

and lastly, thank you boyf for making me feel soo muchh better wit your encouragement ♥

i know i may say some stupid stuffs, that makes you mad or sad, but im glad that you didnt give up on me. you stay with me through all of these, and never stop trying to make me feel better. im glad i got you in my life right now, i couldnt be muchh a happier. (: i love you with all my heart, and i dont wanna let you go. ever. i promise you.

updates !!

2011-01-09T02:56:00.003+08:00

isnt he adorable ? x)

okay, updates about the fun thing that has happened to me for the past few days.

sorry that i couldnt update my blog, hasnt been using my lappy for quite some time.

no time to update my blog, and i cant update through my iPhone. lols.

but anyway, hmmmm... let me see...

the last time i updated my blog was last tuesday.. okay, what happened after that? hmmmm.

on wednesday...

well, i got werk on wednesday.. and me and bby are lateee.

nothing muchh to talk about. except abt this one time when im soo effing pissed at someone at werk. i dont wanna elaborate muchh about it. bby's gonna kill me if i do, hehes.

thursday went to poly open hse..

and i didnt get to meet my gfriends, and i feel soo bad.. =/ but im gonna make it up to her.

this, i promise her. gonna do something for her, but aint gonna tell her about it.

its gonna be a surprise :))

friday werk again, and schedule for next week is out.

but im soo irritated by it, by werk. dont wanna elaborate. =/

and i had a fun day today :D

bby got a gig at ngee ann poly there, the crowd wasnt really fun. but, i really love their songs :)

and a day out wit his bandmates always brings a smile on my face :))

the most best time is that i get to spend some time wit bby ♥

after the gig, we went to Bukit Timah ard there and had our dinner there.

and then, we played pool. which is uber fun laaaa. i mean, watching them play. xD

and bby still havent teach me how to play pool ! when he promised me 2years ago ):

and Zaidi is being sweet to know about my story wit bby. teehees.

basically, i love today ♥

Boyf is sweet enough to treat me this ♥

I love you ♥

first argument =/

2011-01-04T03:30:00.005+08:00

i miss this bitch up here :(

like i said ytd, im gonna update about werk. and how it goes. haha.

well, today werk was FUCKING SLACK !!!!!! hahaha!!

not a lot of ppl today, mayb bcos its a cold day today. soo no one wants ice-creams!! hahas.

not much temptation today, but i still got ice-cream aft werk ! Ben&Jerry siotss!!! ~ xD

My family fetched me frm Newton just now, aft werk. and went in back to JB.

went to had our supper before going home.

switched on my lappy and skype-d wit Bby! and Yanne!! (:

today was our first argument, soo sad :(

but we still love each other soo muchh ♥

one thing that i love about us is that we dont like to keep things hanging just like that.

if we have any problems wit each other, we're gonna solve it ASAP !

thats what i love about him ((:

im missing him soo muchh right now... i really really do.. aft he sent me off at the MRT, i miss him already.. and when i skyped wit him just now, it makes me miss him even more =/

eventhough im video-calling him, and i just met him few hours ago.

mayb its bcos i dont get much quality time wit him.. when i looked at him thru the lappy, it makes wanna go his house and just hug him. :(

i miss you, boyf :(

P.S

im missing you so much, cant help it im in love. a day without you its like a year without rain.

i need you by my side, dont know how i'll survive. a day without you its like a year without rain.

meeting my family :)

2011-01-03T02:00:00.005+08:00

had an awesome day today :)

didnt do anything much laaaaa, but Bby spent some time wit my family today :)

i woke up early today, when i slept late ytd =/

fucking sleepy siaaaa.

ate wit family before going in Spore.

then went to my bro's house.

actually wanted to celebrate my niece's birthday there, but they're going out. soo we went to East Coast.

fetched Bby frm busstop.

sorry Bby if its too rushing for you just now, hehe.

at East Coast, waited for my bro to come and we took Ayu, my niece, to Parkway Parade.

met up wit sis and her boyfiee, and off we go to search for her bday present ! (:

she got a lot of things frm us, and she's just 10yrs old ! lols!

bonding session between boyf and mummy (:

aft that, me and boyf took 36 to werk.

today werk was tiring, because need to stand a lot ! haha.

but it was fun cos not a lot of ppl. xD

tmr im werking again, and i love Mondays! ^^

cos no Ala Carte, will only be serving desserts.

but rightt... the icecreams are gonna tempt me!!!!!!!!!! ):

gonna blog about it tmr, hahas. (:

P.S

Bby, i really do love you. Eventhough there's cute guys working at our workplace, dont worry too much kay? You're still the most cutest guy to me, and i'll never leave you for them ♥

Officially yours ♥

2011-01-02T02:53:00.001+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR :)

its a new beginning, to everything.

and yes, im officially his ♥ Muhd Ridhwan Razali .

we've known each other for almost two years already.

we've been through a hell lot together.

and yes, we've been together before. 2years ago.

but now we're back together, stronger then before.

i love him whole-heartedly, and i'll never let him go. ♥

010111 ♥

and i would like to say sorry to everyone that i've hurt before, offended.

its a new year, lets all start afresh (:

im letting go of all the bitter-pain memories of my past.

its time for me to move on. (:

COUNTDOWN!!!

2010-12-29T03:48:00.002+08:00

have been werking my ass off for the past few weeks. this week, its time for me to take a break.
well, i thought so. but sadly, i still need to werk on new year's eve. AND new year itself =/
haishh. its okay.. as long as Bby is there, im sure i'll be just fine. teehees.

things have been great between me and him,
and im super duper happy!! (:
its the ending of 2010, and the beginning of 2011. soon.
hopefully, it would be a better year for me (:

P.S i miss youuuuu :(

an ending to a new beginning? =/

2010-11-25T18:57:00.003+08:00

Have been going in Singapore for the past two days to spend time wit him and Syaa.

I really had an awesomee time with them, especially on Tuesday. hahas.

Eventhough yesterday was supposed to be the day when its just gonna be about me and him, it didnt.

But it felt really nice to help out a friend in need :)

But atleast, i get to meet all 5of my friends. Best Of Friends.

Ridhwan, Syahirah, Nazih, Adib and Hafeez ♥

Talked some things with him yesterday.

Honestly saying, it hurts me a lot. But, i didnt wanna show it in front of him.

We've talked things out already.

Well, he told me that everything's going to be okay.

But why do I feel like everything's not gonna be okay?

And that there will come a time when everything's gonna end?

Just when we wanna start afresh, the ending is coming soon=/

But I really pray hard that nothing's gonna happened,

and I got to keep on telling myself that everything IS going to be okay, just like he said so.

P.S i dont wanna lose you again.

im backkkkkkk :)

2010-11-22T20:56:00.004+08:00

okay, Wan muker epic siaaa. hahaha.

after a long time of not updating my blog, i finally decided to update my blog. haha.

since i got nothing better to do at home, and im bored. soo gyeahhs..

basically, as all of you know, Olvls is finally OVER !!!!!

and im soooo happy that its the end of my Secondary School life :)

i dont wish to repeat my Secondary School life, soo please dear God, let me pass my Olvls!

teehees.

but i will miss my Secondary School life though.

to me, it teaches me a lot of things. about life.

friends are easy to find, but hard to keep.

sometimes, you can never know who your true friends are.

they may be nice to you in front, but they stabbed you at the back.

you'll learn what is right, and what is wrong.

who to be friends with, and who you shouldn't mix around with.
who you should keep, and who you should let go.

Well, i screwed up during my Olvls.

many things happened to me at that point of time.

a bad timing to screw my life up people!

but i did tried my best, and i hope i make it to Poly.

the poly that i might considered is, Singapore Poly, Nanyang Poly and Temasek Poly.

its either i take Hospitality and Tourism, Accounting, or fashion mayb?

im currently finding for a job. soo if there's any jobs available, do let me know! hehe.

P.S i miss youuuuuuuuuu :(

Finally, done wit Mid-Year exams :)

2010-05-16T00:22:00.001+08:00

Like i said, im going to update my blog after MidYear.
and im FINALLY done wit MidYear :)

i stayed in Spore for almost 3weeks, studying wit my friends.
i have my own study group now :)
which consists of Maira, Afifah and Ahmad Firr.
soo, everyday we went to Macd and study there.
and i seriously had fun wit them, really.
yes, we study. but obviously, we have breaks in between. & thats when we release our stress.
i love my Study Group ♥

sooo, after MidYear, rightt aft our last paper, we went home straight.
as we're going out to watch a movie!!! :D
which is planned like a week before, hahaha!!
and let me tell u, the Last Song is a MUST WATCH!
and, i had fun going out wit Rabia, Maira and Afifah ♥
we laugh like crazieee, we cried together, and illuminati is around us! *inside joke* hahaha!!
- P.S pictures that are taken frm my camera will be uploaded soon! hehes.

` i may have moved on , but im still hurt whenever ppl mentioned ur name . or even when u talked to me . or worst still , when i knew that u've moved on faster than me .

just updating.

2010-04-19T23:38:00.002+08:00

our long hair!! ):

this is going to be my last post, before the exams start.
no, not Olvls. but midyr exam.
im going to be busy studying and wont get to update my blog,
soo this is my chance!

last session this friday )):
my stamina has gone up again! :D
thursday - napha test 5stations.
friday - CROSS-COUNTRY!!!
i cant wait for it. but at the same timee, i dont feel like going!! hehes.

midyr is just around the corner,
tchers are giving us endless tests!!
study, study, study.
wooooots! ~
but i wont stop dancing :)

NEXT POST AFTER MID-YR EXAM!!! :D

2010-04-08T21:17:00.002+08:00

history students :D
a.k.a BWFC ^^

just going to do a quick update, so my blog wont be dusty. hehes.
andand, i just feel like writing / typing . hehhs.
anyway, school has been better for me.
i've been paying a lot of attention in class lately, and i seems to understand better now.
im lovin' it ~
i can manage my time well now, esp since CCA da stand down . so happy :D hehes.
more time to study, and also hang out wit my friends :) release stress okay.

i miss home, Malaysia home ):
currently at bro's house. no one's hme except me and bro.
but his off playing his iPhone. grrrrrs. -.-
doing SS hmewk when im done updating my blog :)
and off to bed ! hehes.

cant wait for Saturday!!!
got speech day - not really looking forward to it . haha!
except for the part Kuda take her prize and MaiRabia performance :D
going to support Bgirls !!!! hehe.
got Youth-Out - cant wait for this !!!! hehe.
yes, mummy allow me to go. and we bought the tickets!! wooooo!~

P.S
im soooo sick and irritated seeing couples everywhere!~ xP

a boring day -.-

2010-04-02T22:25:00.002+08:00

i really enjoyed myself during earth hour this year :)
it is soo much fun than last year , hees. online yanne knows why.. xD
(but please ehk saiful, its not what u think it is! haha)

im really praying that i get to stay on till the end.
that i wont giv up.
im sooo stress right now. esp about my studies..
i cant seem to catch up much.. =/

and besides that, idk whats wrong wit me..
i get irritated easily these past few days..
i get mad easily wit my friends, and i dont know why..
soo to anyone i've scolded and stuffs, im soo sorry.
` esp to Kuda, sorry babe. dont know whats wrong wit me nowadays. i know i dont layan u that much , sorry tauu! xD

boring day today, watching spiderman now. -.-

SPORTS DAY :)

2010-03-26T16:26:00.003+08:00

had sports day today.
and guess what?
i joined the cheerleading team this year, hahas. xD
but we ended up in the 2nd place, Winners in the 1st place.
but they deserve it, theirs was god =)
congratulations..

ate mee soto aft sports day wit bgirls, and headed to tamp wit maira and rabia.
passed his jacket, walked around and home sweet home. (:
attending the principal talk in the evening , followed by meet the parents session..
tomorrow is EARTH HOUR, staying till 10pm. do support okay!
switch off ur lights for 1hour, 8.30-9.30p. (if im not mistaken)
SAVE THE EARTH!!!! :D

` let it go .

errrghhh, so dusty siaaa..

2010-03-20T01:00:00.003+08:00

aaarghhh!! look at my hair!!! )):

urgghh, fuck it. i really miss my long hair now..
like seriously, i do.. and i felt sadd.. ):
goddamnit, i HATE my hair now.. it sucks, BIG TIME! and i hate it, alotalot.
` im sorry my dear hair, but i hate you now. when will you ever grow nicee again?? ):

my blog is dead.
because i have NO TIME at all.
this march holiday isnt a holiday, AT ALL. nope, not at all.
i hardly had time for myself...
no time to relax.
no time to study.
no time to read my library books.
time, time, time.
I NEED MORE TIME!!!
arrghh, fuck. im really going crazy right now..

i feel like im getting apart with my friends..
well, not all of them.. but most of them..
and i felt sadd.. ):
its just that, i feel like i have no time for them anymore..
i hardly spend any time with them, so im getting apart frm them..
and all because im not in Singapore. i cant spend my time wit them..
after school, straight to woodlands, and in Msia i go.
and it sucks, BIG TIME.
aaaargggghhhh.
right now, i hate my life.
fuck it. fuck it. fuck it.
whats wrong wit me?!!!!

new haircut !!!!

2010-03-07T14:09:00.003+08:00

aarghhh!! my hair!!! D:

yes, as you can see. i've cut my hair, that short. and i miss my long hair!! )):
okay laaa, its not that short.. but still ! *cries*
rabia confirm suker nyer i cut my hair.. xP
and its not bangs ppl ! dont get it wrong okay! i will NEVER cut bangs again. haha.

blog has been dusty, but now im clearing it up.. ^^
have been busy wit tests, as i've mentioned in my previous post.. but now we're free from the tests!! weeeee!!~ ((:
1more week of school and its holiday for us!!! cant wait!!! :D
hahaha.
but it wont be a holiday for me, rest for awhile only.
and then im going to start catching up on my sec3 and 4topics :)

dont know what else to blog about.. haha!
CIP on monday and saturday!! weeeee~

P.S
i hopee i get to go out with you on Tuesday.. =/

a busy week.

2010-02-26T14:59:00.002+08:00

didnt go school today, missed SS common test. darn!
but i also didnt study, teehees. x)
have been having super duper many common test lately. and finally, its coming to an end :)

Monday - Science common test
Tuesday - REST !!
Wednesday - History common test
Thursday - E-Maths common test
Friday - Social Studies common test

next week :
Monday - A-Maths common test ( was supposed to, but tcher postponed it to thursday )
Thursday - A-Maths test
Friday - POA test

like pathetic right? everyday got test.. grrrs.. ):
missed dance session today, sad.
saturday, gonna have Family BBQ ! cant wait !!! hehes.
gonna have lots of games. foods. shisha !! hehe.
Yanne and i will be planning for the games :)
will be playing it only for fun, so no prizes tautau!! hehe.

` it takes us to lose the ones we love to appreciate them .

dusty much!

2010-02-23T18:26:00.001+08:00

wont be updating my blog at the moment.
busy studying for common test.
no time to switch on the comp and update my blog. hees.
anything just tag me, because i will only check my blog through my phone.
so i can reply ur tags :)
takecare!!

P.S
i miss the cutee small boy! =x

pissed !

2010-02-06T14:37:00.001+08:00

uuurrrghhh.
fuck it laaaaaaaa.
im soo irritated and pissed righttt nowww.
im upsetttt.

P.S
where the fuck are you?

happy 1monthsary :)

2010-02-06T12:58:00.003+08:00

since i just get to update my blog,
me wanna say HAPPY belated BIRTHDAY to Wan, my dendeng! hahaha! :D
dont have to say anything. we've talked, kankan? hahas. ^^

have been busy wit tests. and guess what?
for the whole week next week, im all booked wit tests!!
Monday - History Test
Tuesday - POA Test
Wednesday - Chemistry Test
Thursday - E-Maths Test
Friday - is amaths test this coming week guys? or issit another week? hmmms.
see?!! going to be effing stress!!! aaaaahhhhh!!!

Monday, 010210.
went out wit Bestfriends ♥ to town. i seriously had fun.
cam-whore like hell, haha! and Hafeez, u better upload ALL the pics ! hahaha.
or else, giv ur camera to me! i help u upload. hahas. (:

i keep going to Yishun, to go Yanne's jamming session :)
i lovelovelove going! hehes. uknowiknow. LOLS!
was supposed to go for their audition today, but mummy doesnt let me go.
and i dont know why! fuck! but whatever, dont wanna talk abt it. =x
sorry shafiq cos i cannot go! nevermind, pretend im there. so u can play the guitar! hahas! :D
gdluck you guys, i know you guys can make it.
hey, i hear you guys practice and its nicee to my ears. all the best! ^^

HAPPY 1MONTHSARY :)
like finally, the day arrives.. 1month of togetherness and im still not getting bored wit u! xP
hahaha. sorry i couldnt go in today, i was looking forward to spending some time wit u but ended up, i couldnt go )): nevermind, we go out next week kaykay? 130210, like we planned. hehes.
things might screwed up at certain point of time, but i have always lovee you ♥

im soo tired... =/

2010-01-31T00:26:00.003+08:00

here comes the weekends...

one reason why i hate weekends - i cant text my friends that much.. and bby too. i miss them..

and i definitely miss my Barney oh-so much.. i seriously do... )):

i've been super duper tired lately..

of school, dance, everything.. =/

more and more test are on their way! ):

and each day passed, more and more homework keeps on piling up! )):

i need to start doing all of my homeworks, despite me being tired.. haishh.

and i need to start revising on last year's topic..

andand, i need to start filing in all the worksheets that tchers keep on giving..

cmon Nadiah, FOCUS!

30january,

happy birthday to my Bestest Friend, Hafeez ♥

syg!!! hahaha. happy2 birthday to u. sad that im not in Spore during ur birthday.. but hey, monday celebrate kankan?? hehes. (: tkmo sedih2 okay? hope we'll be friends forever, dont forget me! hehes. we've known each other for 6years now.. many ups and downs along the way, but we still stick as friends. sorry for the past, uknowiknow. once again, happy birthday. see u on monday syg! hahas. love u alotalot ♥

` fuck u laaa bitch! she deserves it more than u do! she earned that and u simply come and take it away from her. wth?!!! cmon laaa, u cant buy everything wit money.. sometimes u have to EARNED it. ur name doesnt deserve to be up there. i bet u pay to get it there, u bitch! olvl, olvl laaa. wanna include in nlvl for what? wtf laaaa! u better pray i forget all about it on Monday, or i'll be coming to u and effing scold u, bitch!

had fun today :)

2010-01-25T01:02:00.003+08:00

i had fun today wit these girls ♥

sleepover at Yanne's house ytd :)
went out dinner wit uncle auntie and cousins.
went to banafee, got Starhub network u know! hahaha.
messaged Barney but he didnt reply. ):
after that, went back home. took my things and off to A Sri.
seesha smlm gerek gilerr !! hahaha. xD
had two flavours, coke and grape. quite nicee arhs. hees.
i think i had too much bcos i feel soo giddy.. (mcm orang mabok siaa nadiah. haha!)
went back home, toilet. chitchat wit Yanne, msged Bby and off to sleep :)

terbgn in the morning, thanks to Bby for msging me and disturbing me having a sweet dream..
alermak.. kacau ah! hahaha. xD
after reading his text, went to sleep again. haha. and then few hours later, mum called.
after putting down the phone i was supposed to go bathe but i sleep. AGAIN. haha.
woke up 1plus i think, hahas. bathe, siap2 and eat before going out.
was supposed to go home but auntie wanted me to follow badly! haha.

auntie and uncle look around for cars. after that, we headed to Danga Bay.
parents dropped us there, went to Rose Garden and chitchat.
went karaoke wit cousins, had soooo much fun siaa!!
nadiah jiwang sey! lols! xD
sent cousin home and home sweet home =)
basically, i had fun today. really, i do.

currently stress, because my school things are all in Singapore!
how am i supposed to go to school?!! hahaha.
will be going to Bro's house, hope sempat ! *prays*

time check ; 1:32am.
off to bed now, nightnight :]

update. xD

2010-01-23T14:59:00.007+08:00

my beloved cousins ♥

wow, its been soo long since i last update. hehes.
sorry ppl, have been kinda busy lately.. no time to go update my blog.
its not dead okay! xD

A LOT has happened lately.
and when i say a lot, its a lot. hahaha. xD
but im not going to update about it. well, not most of it. hahas.
hmms, i really dont know what to update abt.. *wondering*

ohya, im officially taken ♥
and i miss him oh-so much... ):

P.S
secrets out.. truth were known..
sorry for everything.. i really am..
i'll change, i promise.. dont give up on me..
im sorry for the attitude, didnt realise it..
i suck, big time.. and im sorry.. =/
will make it up to u guys, i promise..
just dont give up on me, please...

trouble! trouble! trouble!

2010-01-09T23:48:00.003+08:00

have been getting into trouble lately.. )):
dont wanna talk abt it...

yesterday was fun, i love it (:
thanks to my scandal for following me, and sorry abt what happened in the end !
uknowiknow. hehes.
i miss her already! ):

was supposed to go out today, but i couldnt make it..
Barney is having fun without me!! )):
cant wait for Monday to come, im soo bored at hme!!
andand, i lost my physics workbook! damn!

P.S
cant u call me? i really need u right now.. ='/
and i miss you, Barney..

filled wit sadness and laughter.

2010-01-06T20:45:00.002+08:00

i kinda hate today..
it wasnt the day i wanted it to be. haishh.
school was tiring, really tiring. i was trying to make myself awake the whole day.
one reason why i hate staying in msia. grrrrs.

my day was fucked up. serious shit siaa, irritating oii.
sometimes i just feel like giving up sey, haishh.
its sooo hard living here...

Barney was supposed to take me from school today.
but he did not.. )):
he slept and didnt notices the text messages i sent him. and the calls from me. *sads*
i waited for him at my school busstop, he wasnt there.
ended up, went to Tamp alone. went to Woodlands, alone. *sadsad*
met up wit Yanne, sorry i scolded u just now darling. i was in a bad mood. but i know, i shouldnt. its my fault, im soo very sorry. =/
went in without kakak. mums took us, went to eat and home sweet home.

P.S
i was sad that you didn't take me from school today..
honestly, i was kinda expecting you. i wanna see you, again.
but sadly, we didn't get to meet. haishh.
you didn't answer my calls, you didn't reply my messages.
i admit, i was angry. and worried.
but when i was in the bus, all alone, the anger disappeared..
but i was sad, tears were involved.. ='/
remembering the bus rides we had.
i miss you... ):

bad mood much?

2010-01-05T23:14:00.002+08:00

i miss this hair ! ):

today wasnt my day. i was kinda in a bad mood today.
haishhh.... only some people knows why..
school was okay, boring and tiring.
fyi, i hate my form tcher !

after school, met Barney at busstop safra.
thanks for being late! ):
tkper, tomorrow he taking me frm school. hees.
yupyup! he taking me!! ^^

met up wit Horny and Zhaf and Epul at tamp starbucks.
was irritated by SOMEBODY. thanks eh, thanks.
went ljs, aft that me and Barney headed to woodlands by bus.
met up wit sis and cuz, waited for Fame. (his friend, fyi)
the boys kindly waited for us smpi our bus came.

talking on the phone wit Hafeez syg.
i miss this bestfriend of mine :)

P.S
thanks for listening to me just now, in the bus..
i didn't want to tell you, but i know you're not going to give up.
and keep on asking me what's wrong.
i had fun spending my time with you, Barney. ♥

first day of school.

2010-01-04T22:15:00.004+08:00

i love these girls a lot lahh . ♥

today is the start of the school.
2 words, it sucks!
haha. obviously, kankan?
but still, i had fun because i get to meet my Bgirls !!! hehehe.
and we are super duper kecoh just now! hahaha.

i have been loving my past few days.
because i get to meet him ! hahaha.
sorry mairaa, i know u dont. nevermind, soon aites? like we planned. *winks* (;

Barney fetched me after school. thanks loves. hehe (:
headed to Tamp, he wanted to meet his friends.. soo we lepak around there.
i was supposed to meet Lesby and Horny at tamp, but i couldnt make it.
i want eat lunch wit them sey. planned again okay babes? sorry )):
and i was supposed to meet Hafeez and Sya too. and again, i couldnt.
he off siaa. fuck lahh stay in msia. serious guys, im really sorry.. i really wanna meet krg.
i miss u guys like hell siaa. tell me, when do we last hangout? haishh.. )):

get a phone call from sis, to meet at kranji straight. walked off frm his friend's place asap.
he antar me till Tamp MRT. shits happened. end up, take bus and meet Sis and Cuz at woodlands. and he send me all the way there. thankie u soo much!! atleast me wont be alone. hees.

bla3... went back jb... bla3.. hehehe.
had soo much fun and laughter wit my 2bitches, SisterBELLA and CousinYANNE. ♥
and i had fun being wit Barney, hehes.

P.S
sorry for the shits that happened just now. only you and i knows about it.
im just sad, that you're going to leave me. just like that.
i have to travel alone, and i hate the thought of it.
i dont like travelling alone, i really dont.
im sorry for the trouble i caused you.
i wont be like that anymore, if you dont want me to.
i promise you...

the BEST countdown! weeee!! (:

2010-01-03T02:10:00.004+08:00

BeatStyleCrew ♥

farharnie !
this one is for u! haha. u've been a great listening year during the countdown that time. whatever happens there, dont tell anyone tautau! uknowiknow. hehe. x) and btw! i think my necklace is wit ur friend! the natasha(sp?).

to all of my family and cousins ;
i love you guys to bits! im sorry for everything i've said and done, esp to sisterBELLA and cousinYANNE. my attitude sometimes isnt right, i know.. but please, dont hide anything frm me no more okay? im sick of being left out. i love krg (:

COUNTDOWN WAS AWESOMEEEE! ♥
went in spore quite early so hang out wit yanne while waiting for ariff to come. msg amirul, he never reply. gundu u know this guy! padehal im at woodlands already sey. lols. but anyway, bought shoelace. met up wit ariff. some things happened, yanne was fucked up but everything turns out okay. in the train, amirul msg. soo, we waited for him at city hall. soo late u know! haha. followed him to lavender, then headed towards tamp to meet hattri. sorry hattri ! bcos u have to wait alone! hehes. i know, i was supposed to meet u first ! hehe.
terserempak wit rabrab and mairaa. they followed us go meet hattri, then they separated to meet elly. i didnt follow. hehe. we hang out at tamp 1 rooftop, while waiting for haicurl.. at ard 7plus, we went off to meet the rest at simei. some shits happened, but didnt wanna elab on it.. everybody was there (except for ayu, elah, farhanie, and some other too) hehes. we headed to simei cc.
things happened, i was sick. keep on vomitting, dk why )): but i like my countdown, some ppl will know who. hehes. i had fun dancing my night away~
and spending time wit ....^^

shits happened, again. i was pissed off. and then, i got kinda sad. soo i went all moody and in my lala land already. sorry lesby! u know why! ):
went to teh tarik, then lepak at fest. played truth or dare. they went hme at 5am. me and amirul stayed behind. he teman me wait for my sis, thanks! ♥

lets just say,
it was worth getting into trouble. hehe.

P.S
i like my Barney ♥
and hattri ! cheer up, please ? me dont like it when u angry and sad. smile ! =)

HAPPY NEW YEAR !

2010-01-02T04:28:00.003+08:00

Hattri ! tkkan tkley upload gmbr kat fb, da sedih? haha!

HAPPY NEW YEAR PPL ! (:
its already 2010 !! weeeeee~

to my bgirls !
we've been through a lot together in the year 2009. i treasure every single bits of them. i finally know who is my true bestfriends are. thanks for being there for me when i need somebody. to be my listening ear, to help through every obstacles. im sorry for the mistakes i've done to u guys, im sorry abt my attitude sometime. i know i may be bad at a certain point of time, but i appreciate that u guys dont give up on me and are always there for me. school is re-opening soon, i cant wait to meet u guys!! love krg alotalot ♥

to BSC !
lets work hard to become one of the dope crews in spore, aite? hees. we've been through quite a lot. thanks for not giving up on this crew! the 3boys, work hard for olvls yeah! cant wait to meet krg soon!! hehes. to elly, gdluck in ite! have fun!! atleast u wont be stress like the rest of us! haha. love u guys !

to Dome Fam !
i just join u guys this year. and i have no regrets at all (: i appreciate for everything that u guys have taught me last year. i learnt different kind of dance, and i love them all ! eventhough some might be difficult, im never going to giv up! my lesby partner! thanks for everything! uknowwhat. hees. i love u! sumi and ayu, thanks for the talks and everything. for helping me abt the uknowwhat. appreciate it (: nana, thanks for being there for me. esp whenever im alone! ^^ hattri, amirul and haicurl. thanks for teaching me different kind of dance. i will never giv up. thanks for listening to me abt my probbs and i know i can count on u guys. Dome Fam will always have my back, kan? hattri and amirul ! u know what i mean!~ (:

to my two dearest bestfriend !
my syg hafeez and my scandal syahirah. hehes. we've been friends for atleast 5yrs. 6yrs i guess, now? haha. we've been through ups and downs together. eventhough we argued, fight, misunderstand, we will always end up together back. nothing can break our friendship, i promise u guys that. i love the two of u a lot! u guys are already part of my life. and no matter what happens, i will always be there for u guys. love krg alot ! ♥

sorry for the long update. hehes.
will update abt countdown tmr ! weeeeee~
farharnie !! i want pics!! hehe. (:

BSC and DOME FAM performance :D

2009-12-28T00:08:00.004+08:00

the performance was DOPE !
hahaha.

we practised really hard, and we make it through !
it was DOPE ! hahaha. xD
good job guys! now lets prepare for COUNTDOWN!! (:
pictures will be uploaded once i get my hands on them! xD

i was SOOO HAPPY when my mum let me go to countdown. :)
but the bad news is that, now i have to convince my dad.
because he wont let me go!! )):
amirul , go talk to my dad lahh . lols .xP

tmr bsc, nana and sumi will be watching Alvin and the Chipmunks 2.
but i dont think i'll be going. no money larr ppl.
ya i know, im going to miss a lot. but its okay.. (:

my last wishes for 2009.
-i hope i get to go to dance session on wednesday.
-i hope i get to go countdown wit Dome Fam.
-and i hope i get to ton wit them too!!

P.S
pretty please , make my wish come truee ?
was kinda upset when my mum, sis and cousin didnt go to my performance.
hattri and amirul tau, kankan? :(

starbucks wit lovees :D

2009-12-22T01:30:00.003+08:00

i seriously had fun today :D (but get irritated at some point)
i went in spore to send the green form to school . met up wit munny ard 9plus . IN THE MORNING .
ader larr org tuu kater nk jumper kul 9.45am for bgirls , end up tk jadi . xP
went to kallang to take passport picture , dad kiasu abt some things . grrs.
IRRITATING U KNOW !
munny accompanied me all the way there, the org irritating siaa ! end up, i smile so FAKE.
then daddy sent us to bedok .

ate KFC and was super full ! haha. *psst...* munny! i win, kan? hahaha. u know what i mean~ x)
bought mummy stuffs, and my ppd. and we headed to the library. bla3...
we walked the WHOLE of bedok inter just to searched for my sis's hand sanitizer.
kaki saket u know! grrrrs. u owe me BIG TIME !
then headed to tamp and wait for somebody.
that somebody was latee so i walked the whole of TM and CS.
bought lip balm, AGAIN! the one that i just bought hilang ):
and i found my sis's hand sanitizer. FINALLY !
that somebody came, like a giant ! xP
we hangout and then i met up wit Dome Fam at starbucks. i had fun :)

joke around. laugh here and there like nobody business.
was pissed off at SOMEONE . grrrs. i dont like u know !
at ard 8pm i guess, we went to TM. damdam bought a new nike shoe. SUPER NICEE! im J ! ):
went to arcade, had fun siaa ! seriously, i do. separate wit them and meet my scandal, SYA ! ^^
lepak at T1 rooftop and catch up wit each other. and its still not enough! kan sweetie ? hahaha.
going to meet wit her again. SOON!!!!

P.S
do NOT disturb me, ever again. i hate it.
rabrab, sorry tauu . uknowwhy =/

im soooooo happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! weeeeeeeeeeeeeee~

2009-12-20T14:20:00.002+08:00

PROMOTED !!!!!!!!!!!!!

banana girls are going to rock the school ! xD

ohmygodd, im SUPER DUPER HAPPY !!!! and im soo relieved.

i thought i couldnt make it to sec5, but i actually did. weeeee!~ hehes.

and im soo happy that all of my friends get the results they wanted !

im happy for my Bgirls and the boys too! andand, dome fam ! (some of them) haha.

and im proud to announce, (and im soo proud of her!)

congratulations to one of my Bgirls for getting the TOP NLVL STUDENT in damai sec!!!!!

KURSHIDA NAZRIN !!!! wooooohoooo!~ (u beat the chinese! haha. -inside joke)

and i cant believe this metta (shahzeleememi) name is announced ! he got 10points !!!

CONGRATS TO ALL OF MY FRIENDS FOR DOING SUPER DUPER GOOD! :)

see u guys next year! lets help each other out, okay? love u guys! weeeeeeeee~

i watched avatar the other day, rabia and epul, memi and his family. i tell u, it was AWESOME!!~

and my first sleepover at a friend's hse! slept at rabia's hse. wooo~ soo much fun! hahaha.

we did a lot of talking, huh? and slept quite late. eventhough the next day is results day! haha.

i didnt dance that much, on thursday and friday. esp on friday. im sorry guys, i dont know whats up wit me. im guessing, i dont feel soo good. sorry i didnt say anything =/

hope i could go shopping sooon!

BACK TO SCHOOL !

- new bag

- new pencilbox ? (optional)

- file

- new shoes! (definitely!!)

- pens and pencils !! etc.

- more to go!!!!!!~

nlvls results is coming!!!

2009-12-16T22:03:00.002+08:00

nlvls results is coming people !!!!
aaarghhh!!! im soo effing scared and nervous!!!!!!

i just got to know that my nlvls results is on friday, and that means 2more days. and im super duper scared!!! i hope i do well ! ohya! and i hope my bfriends do well too ! *cross fingers*

i got to know that the performance is cancelled. i felt sadd )): we work hard on it. haishh.
oh well, its okay. atleast we got some steps rightt? haha.
there's dance session today, dome fam i heard. butbut, i cant go. sadd )): i miss dancing!!
but its okay, there's dance tomorrow. and im sooo going!! :D
maybe going out first tomorrow? nott soo suree yet. hees.

cant wait for tomorrow!
but i can wait for friday! hees. x)

Dome Fam & BSC :D

2009-12-14T13:32:00.003+08:00

ohmy, its been almost a month since i last update. hahaha! im sorry! x)
and sorry to my gfriends and bfriends bcos i went MIA ! xD

but anyway, my holiday has been busy like hell ! i have to go here, and there, and here, and there. haishh. tired, tired, tired.
went to genting 2times, went to kl 2times, went to melaka too. but i cant buy anything for my friends, bcos we didnt go shopping. well basically, i didnt have time to go shopping. i dont even get a chance to buy anything for myself. i felt saddd )):

i miss (i know it is) a GREAT FUN BBQ ! just because i went away for a holiday. haishh. and again, i felt sadd )): please, please, please, do more outing like that! im nott suree if i can go countdown or not, haishh.

im not gonna update muchh, mayb bsok2.. hahas. im going to update abt Dome Fam & BSC :)

the other day, we had BSC meeting. things have been a lil' out of hand at that point of time. nearing to our performance, we've been nervous as we're not fully prepared. we didnt know what to do, some of us feels like just give up. but we didnt. we talk it out, we stick by each other's side, helping each other to improve. come up wit dance steps, contribute and just giving our best. honestly saying, at that point of time, i feel like just breakdown and cry.. bcos i wanna give up everything. its soo hard to be living here, and have to be there. sometimes i cant make it to dance sessions, nor some of the crew meeting. (like today) i feel like just drop out. but i talk wit gfriends and i think abt it. and hey, they're my family. & i cant just giv up like that. this is my passion, my dreams. and i dont wanna giv up on it. nor them. i dont wanna leave them, i need them. they're the ones who always make me laugh, who puts a smile on my face whenever im feeling down. soo, i made up my mind and decided that i dont wanna leave BSC. i love them to bits. ♥
P.S guys, im sorry i couldnt go today. i miss you guys sooo much! ): dont giv up!

surprisingly, we had Dome Fam meeting too. things has become much more serious now, in Dome Fam. when i was about to giv up on dance that time, i wanted to stop going for Dome Fam sessions. and just attend BSC sessions. but hatri qn make me think again, do i really wanna stop going to dome fam sessions? everyone was seating in a circle, and i look at them. one by one. thinking if i leave, im going to miss every single one of them. eventhough i just knew them. i would miss their jokes and everything, i would miss dancing wit them, i would miss them teaching me steps and giving me advices. and then i knew, i dont wanna leave Dome Fam. i wanna be part of the big family, and not only bcos my friends were there, but bcos i knew we can go far. bcos i knew whenever i go Dome Fam sessions, i could be myself. to dance like how i wanted to, and i love them like how i love my BSC ♥

P.S
i miss my Banana Girls ! ):
i miss everyone ! )):

im soo freaking bored!!

2009-11-19T05:36:00.003+08:00

i went out today.. okay, actually. it was yesterday, since its already 5.43am .

ya i know, im still not asleep yet. despite me having a dance session tmr, and need to wake up early in the morning to clean the hse.. damn.. i have noo idea why im not sleeping yet..

but anyway, went to watch paranormal activity wit bffl . hafeez and syahirah . plus wan. met them at plaza singapura, sorry guys im latee! teehees. x)

hmms, lets just say the movie was interesting.. the last part was scary though. if u're planning to watch, u really must have a lot of patience.. hahas.

hafeez was super duper noisy the whole time during the movie . hahas.

okay, im guessing i dont wanna blog abt it that much. im getting bored!

hahas. basically aft watching movie, we went to have dinner at bugis burger king .

went for window-shop and the boys headed hme. to lepak sounds better. xP

sya accompanied me all the way till 10plus at marina square. thanks sweetheart (:

will be having dance session tmr, at fest park.

i might be late ppl ! need to go somewhere and do something, teehees. x)

P.S

im currently chatting wit Hafeez Bby, he cant sleep! and me too! hahas.

we are both bored and got nothing to do. x)

dont feel like sleeping despite the both of us needs to wake up early later! =x

IM BACK!!

2009-11-16T23:46:00.003+08:00

weeeee~ just came back frm my holiday. teehees. xD
went to KL for 3days 2nights wit family and cousins. and i had fun ((:
i wont blog about it yet, until i get the pictures frm Yanne. haha! overall, it was gerek. ^^

my tagboard is super duper kecoh right now, haha.
thanks to my bfriends and friends for backing me up. that man.go is super duper irritating!!

i miss my banana sisters super duper a lot!!! haha. andand, i miss BSC too! haha.
i miss my BFFL a hell lot !! when wanna meet sey? andand ppl, I WANNA GO OUT! haha. xD
im like rotting at hme, and it sucks big time! and i dont know what to blog about!! haha.
im currently chatting wit two super duper kecoh boys. hafeez syg and wan beyloo. haha.
krg kecoh arhs! xP

to man.go,
whoever you are. can you please stop disturbing my life?
easy say, please stop going to my blog and fill my tagboard with all your stupid craps.
what, you are so jealous of me? until you have to say those false stuffs.
i suggest you better go fuck off lah. and dont include rabia in this.
she didnt do anything wrong, so just back off.
i know her, so dont go spread stupid stuffs about her.
im so lazy to entertain stupid people like you.
no life. and only want to disturb other people's life.
just, get the hell away from here. you're unwanted.

hey, im not saying anything about u okay..
andand, since when do i have a new guy?
dont talk anyhow okay!
seriously, i wanna be friends wit u. but if u keep on
giving this shitty attitude, how the hell am i suppose to be okay?
please, u dont wanna start a fight.

i give up,

2009-11-10T21:28:00.004+08:00

babe, i really miss u a hell lot right now... i need u.. :'(

now i know how my sister feels like, when she was left to rot at home without me to talk to. and only my mum. this is just the beginning of my holiday, but i can feel depression is coming over me. i cant wait for thursday to come, im really missing singapore right now.. i wish i dont have to be here..

i feel like giving up. i've tried my best to convince you that it is okay, that everything will work out fine and i won't be like him because i do have a future. but you keep on insisting on your way, that things will turns out terribly and you keep on talking me out of it. you really want me to stop what i am doing right now? you really want me to quit something that i love?
isnt what im doing better than what she's doing? someone please, help me?...

now i got someone hate tagging me. isnt this much more depressing? (hmms.. not really actually..) soo what if i have dickies? doesnt mean im in fas, i cant have these things right? its not as if i cant work and earn money and save them. and what is wrong abt being a dancer? who are u to judge? if u think u're a much better dancer than i am, or better than shahz and elly, why not show urself in front of us. my crew. lets see whether u're good or not. dont judge me without even knowing me in the first place. please, i dont need readers like u.. if u just wanna hate tagged me, i suggest u should just get the hell away frm my blog.. please.. dont come here again,

rotting at hme!

2009-11-08T01:59:00.003+08:00

finally, the bridging programme are over!! (:
weeeeeee~
but u know what? i wished i still got school, bcos this means that i HAVE to ROT AT HOME!!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! teehees. xD

sorry me didnt update my blog, was busy the whole week. no time to switch on my lappy. )):
alotalotalot of things has been going on in my life currently.
i love some of them, but i hate some of them too.
the holiday is here! there are LOTS to plan and LOTS of thing to buy!! :D

shopping list ;
- high cut shoes
- gladiator heels (i still want them mummy!) ^^
- dress
- colour tees (for dance)
- and lots&lots&lots of tee to match my dickies! xD
- 3/4 pants
- long pants (for dance, like elly's)
there are more, but i just coludnt rmb. =x

movie marathon coming up , gym wit gfriends ♥ , outing wit bffl (: , sentosa? , DANCE!!!
ohya! ohya! another shopping day wit gfriends!! ((: andand, work? xD

P.S
sad that is over, part of it was my fault too. wish you all the best in your life.
and hey, i know i broke your heart but that doesnt giv you the rights to blog shitty stuffs about me and make me look as though im the bad person here. because what you said wasnt the whole story....

i need someone,

2009-10-31T22:52:00.003+08:00

i miss them. xD

this week has been a craziee week for me.
there are ups and downs. some i love, but some i rather forget.

im soo tired of schooling already. but i have to go, or else cant go up sec5 ):
soo gyeah, i hate my school. xD

thursday BSC SESSION was fun. xD
was paiseii but i just shake my ass off. hahas.
was irritated though, wit the EAC. and their friends.
eyy, if u ppl want to join us, then dance lahh.
dont bring ur other friends, and lepak there. not doing anything, and just smoke.
please, think of others can?

curly fries came latee! xD
we danced before rabrab and maira had to go hme. dance awhile, then we went to mr teh tarik to lepak.
elly, damdam, epul ! thanks for leaving us eh?
ended up, left me, memi, and curly fries.
thanks for the Mango MilkTea! :)

friday helloween night was fun :)
but the rain spoils everything. but still, we had fun (:
the haunted house was a lil' scary. hahas. andand, we took pictures wit the ghosts.
ohya, have i mentioned that we danced too? x)
yupyup, infront of like, everyone? kecoh siaa. and im soo paiseii ! but i just dance, hees.
thanks eh awi. xD

rotting at hme now, mum didnt allow me to go out today.

P.S
somebody tell me, what should i do?

can i tanam this blog?

2009-10-27T22:32:00.003+08:00

BeatStyle Crew !
i love this people to bits. ♥

lots of things have been happening to my life recently.
some are good, and some are not soo good.
currently im having some problems, but i rather not share it here.
but whatever it is, i really appreciate my friends for being there for me.
for being my listening ear, and even giving me advices and just be there for me =)

im not gonna blog much these days, will be busy wit schools and dance sessions, and even work. hope so! teehees. xD there are lots to plan this holiday, so have to save money! teehees. xD
i cant wait for this thursday, only some ppl knows why. hehes.
andand, i cant wait for this friday. duhhs! halloween night ! lets partayyy!! haha. ^^

im missing you,

2009-10-10T19:26:00.002+08:00

ignore my mum's face at the back! teehees. xD

anyway, i know its been quite some time since i last update. (a proper one. hees.) i have been busy, studying for my nlvls. 2more paper to go.. weeee~
so far my exams was okay. i could do most of it, except for my humanities. which is hancur gilerr!~ haha!
i dont wanna talk much abt it though. but i really hoped i could get into sec5 nxt yr. and all my bfriends too!! xD
there are sooo many plans aft nlvls. i cant wait !!!!! ~ hahaha.
actually, me dk what to blog abt. bcos most of my time is just study, study, study.. hees.

sometimes, when i think about it, and those times when we used to be soo close, i cant believe this is over. i mean, we are over. for many years, we have been there for each other. for many years, we have been soo close and not keeping any secrets from each other. you needed help, i was there for you. i needed help, you were there for me. giving all sorts of advices, all the help i could get. being my listening ear, lending me a shoulder to cry on. you were there for me when i needed you the most. but as time goes by, you started changing and we started drifting apart.. the next thing i know, our friendship are over. just like that. and that saddens me. but there is nothing i could do now, there is no turning back. no words could describe how sad i am, no one could understand how i feel right now. i miss you, but what can i do? i've lost you,

This was something I never wanted,
Letting go of my best friend's hand.
Tears are the words I just can't say,
As she tells me I have to understand.

Late night discussions of everything,
All seem to be coming to an end.
So does counting on each other most.
I'll never find a better best friend.

Struggles just became to hard i guess
Too many words were left unspoken
But too late to try and fix this now,
The best friendship I ever had, broken.

by hilary nicole,

beyloo.

2009-10-06T01:25:00.000+08:00

i miss my beyloo! x)

will update soon, hees.

sick much?

2009-10-01T12:52:00.004+08:00

i didnt go to school today. i woke up late, having a massive headache. i dont know what the hell is wrong wit me, and i refuse going to the doctor. short of money right now, so might as well not waste my money just to go to the doctor. bcos well, i bet the doctor will say the same thing.

i have been studying these past few days. sorry to cancel on my bfriends 2times, because of the night study. i feel soooo guilty,

went to study alone ytd. my scandal went out wit her classmates ):

and beyloo had night class, haishh...

not going to blog much. mayb later going out to study, since i didnt go to school today.

if i have money, might be going to the doctor. take MC or something, see first.

there are more pictures, but in rabia's SONY CYBERSHOT camera. haha. xD

P.S
i waited, and waited, and waited...

but in the end, i gained nothing.
except for tears rolling down my cheeks..
i cried, and cried, and cried...
but no one is there to wipe the tears away..
i feel sooo alone~

4a1 raya outing :)

2009-09-26T13:24:00.003+08:00

sorry for not updating my blog for quite some time.
i've been busy studying lately. (obviously! nlvls nk dekat larr sey!)
but i took a day off yesterday, had 4a1 raye outing :)

it was SUPERfun i tell you! xD
eventhough tk ramai, we had fun, kankan? ((:
met up wit Maira and we headed to Rabia's hse and siap there.
then met up wit Mun at damdam busstop and radhiah and afifah too. xD
first stop, damdam! ^^

thank god, we reached first before shahz and epul. haha!
i freaked out when i saw adam's cat on top of the chair. teehees. :D
i attacked adam's kuih cornflakes!!!
the 2 boys came, took pictures and off to shahz's hse.

wont blog abt ytd much.
ohya, attacked shahz's kuih cornflakes too. xD
took pictures and then headed to Bedok Inter.
Shits happened.
Went to Mun's hse next, and then everything was back to normal.
luckily, kan rabia? hahaha.
ate most of Mun's chocolate chip cookie. hees. ^^
tk sempat nk take pictures, headed to Afifah's hse.

thanks for the food! it was nicee! xD
took grp pictures, COUPLES! haha! headed to Maira's hse.
first time i went her hse, it was lawa!!! xD
took pictures outside her hse, and walked to Rabia's hse.
and again, thanks for the food! (eventhough its SUPERspicy! haha)
and attacked her kuih cornflakes. xD
but i didnt eat much, sadd ): bcos hers is the nicest!

headed to CIK SITI hse! hahahaha!
thanks for the delicious food!

whatever it is, i seriously had fun yesterday.
laughed the whole day loong~
took pictures whenever, wherever we could. :D
lets finish it off, aft nlvls yeaa? insyaallah. hee.

ohya, went to beyloo's hse.
paiseii sey! haha!
took pictures, and watched tv.
and his mum came back hme. (thanks eh! memalukan jer!)
butbut, kecik kan cute? teehees. :D
he sent me hme. back i felt hungry, so he waited for me tukar baju.
and we headed to Macd :)
went back hme by 12am.
u, baru balek jalan raye ehk? 3jer ker? xD

P.S
will post the pictures of yesterday soon! when i got them all! xD
people, send me yearhs?
andand, u! GI UPDATE LARR!

SELAMAT HARI RAYA!!

2009-09-20T01:10:00.002+08:00

before i start wit my posts abt today,
just wanna say to all muslims,
SELAMAT HARI RAYA!!!
Maaf Zahir Dan Batin :)

if i ever did anything wrong towards you,
i apologise. sincerely, im sorry for everything. i didnt mean any of the things i've did.
what's past is past, im moving on and not looking back.
let's forget those bad times,
selamat hari raya aidilfitri ! :)

yesterday wasnt a good day for me. due to the problems that i had.
i couldnt stand the waiting no more. therefore, i msged him first, despite me in msia.
aft i sent a msg to him, i went to sleep. bcos my eyes hurts frm crying,
sister woke me up ard 3am plus, saying that my hp is irritating because i received a msg. haha!
i was happy and relieved, to receive a msg frm him. (:
aft reading his msg, went back to sleep. hee. and i woke up at 9am.
guess what i did?
GI PASAR LARR SEY!~
hahaha. xD

shockingly but true. followed my parents to pasar,
buy stuffs. bla3...
soo for the whole day today, i helped my mum.
cleaning the hse, cook, bla3..
was exhausted, but glad i could help her :)

daddy went hme ard 12am, and we played bunge api! x)
and i burnt my finger. sad, it hurts! ):

and thanks to my wonderful siblings, for being there for me.
eventhough i dont share anything wit u guys.
but seeing u guys cared for me, i felt touched.
thanks a lot, love u gys! :)

i thought things isnt going to be okay.
but then you called, and i smiled broadly.
eventhough it wasnt long, its the thought that counts. (:
mayb things are a lil' different right now,
but im trying to adapt to it.
but honestly saying,
i miss msging you.
i miss hanging out wit you.
i miss talking on the phone wit you.
basically, i miss you.

i cant stop crying...

2009-09-19T00:30:00.002+08:00

i cant focus on my studies,
i cant even do any of my homework.
i keep screwing things up.

there's too much stuffs going on right now,
my mind is filled wit soo many problems.
i tried to push them away, but i swear, its not working..

i know im not supposed to cry.
it sounds stupid, knowing that im crying over these problems..
but, i couldnt stop these tearrs from coming out..

my tearrs are rolling down my cheeks as im writing this,
i just dont know what to do now..
i need someone to talk to,
but there is no one to talk to right now..

please, make these tearrs stop...

i burst out crying, after reading your blog.
i dont know but somehow, it just hurts me so.
i want things to be like last time, but i guess its too late?
its all my fault, everything...

he is still not talking!

2009-09-18T18:41:00.003+08:00

i feel sooo sad.
i feel like crying.
i was mad at him yesterday.
but, there is nothing that i could do.
yes, i was angry yesterday.
but today, i was sad.

he was online, but he didnt chat wit me.
i feel soo sadd~

maybe part of it is my fault,
eventhough i dont know what i do wrong.
i want to make things right, tell me how?
tell me, what should i do? ):
please, dont do this to me...

now, im crying..
i just couldnt hold my tears back.
mayb, i should just shut up.

P.S
i could spend my whole day pressing the refresh button,
just waiting for you to update your blog. soo i know whats going on..
i miss you, do you?....

im soo sorry,

2009-09-18T14:40:00.004+08:00

since last Wednesday, i slept in Singapore. brother's house. went out wit my scandal ! xD on wednesday, LOTS of stuffs happened, i tell u! like, stupid siaa. haha!

we went to Tampines. went to Tamp One, rooftop. then there is a group of boys, 3, came. they sat near us. and out of a sudden, one of them STEP MABOK, then walked to us. syah was like, "nadd. ambek hp kau, pegang." then the guy stopped in front of us, and looked at us. and then, walk away. we were like, WTH?
another incident is in the 22 double-decker bus. this one like fuck siaa. we sat on top, at the back skali. i sat paling blkg, syah in front of me. then got this apek in front, keep loooking behind. out of a sudden, he changed his seat and sat behind. then syah told me that he keep looking at her, while scratching his that thing. like, wth kan? then we she told me, i looked at him arhs. then i saw, he took out his that thing and play wit it. while looking at us. WTF SEY!!! SICKO!! we quickly changed our seat, and sat in front.
the another one more is under the void deck. we were just seating, ngah lepak. then this guy, with his bicycle, kept looking at us. stalker!

yesterday teman-ed my scandal again, searched for kasut raya. xD thanks for the chocolate! hee. went home, and at night i went to her house. we studied, just the two of us.
ader larr, some people, uat prangai. oh well..
kude and maira didnt go to school today. rabia sat wit me and mun, and during mt she did henna on my hand. is niceee :) thanks darling! (: went home straight, now in Jb. my mum's friend came. (: blog later, insyaallah.

things happened.
what you did yesterday seriously hurt me so.
yea i know, we are nothing. but still, what you did, is really, ......
i wanted to just scream, i wanted to just cry..
you didnt text me today, and not even last night.
i was expecting your call, but you did not.
i dont know what to do now....
i miss you, but.....

history till the end~ ):

2009-09-15T21:39:00.003+08:00

ohhmyygodd!!! i miss my hair!! ):
i miss the red and purple!! ):
oh well...

i didnt go school yesterday. instead, i spent my day here in Jb, Angsana. haha.
well, this is the only time my dad is free. so, searched for baju raya ytd. and kuih raya :)
and i found one!!! like, finally!!! and is orange!!! :D
andand, we bought LOTS of kuih raya!! teehees. but my favourite tkder ):
because i ordered frm someone, very nice u know! but its not done yet.
i feel sad~ )):

today, went back to Jb wit Yanne.
after soooo long of not going back hme together, we finally did. :D
met her at causeway point, i bought something at the bazaar there.
then we went to x-craft, to see how much the piercing cost.
and we headed back hme :)
Auntie Noree took us frm Jb Sentral, and we went to angsana to buy foods.
and they buke at my hse.

unexpectedly, my auntie frm Singapore came. (princessANA's mum)
but sadly, princessANA isnt there. i miss her larr sey!!
bla3...

oh my,
tomorrow is the only day that we could meet.
but sadly, he is not free tomorrow as he got tuition.
i feel sad~
*psst*... tkyah gi tuition arhs! teehees. xD
i miss you lehhs! hahaha.

P.S
if you have read this already, go UPDATE ur blog!!!!
u know who u are. :)

ayer hitam :)

2009-09-14T00:14:00.004+08:00

slept late yesterday. slept at around 8am like that, hehe. xD after beyloo offline, few minutes later, he went online again. :D and we chatted till nk dekat sahur, hahahaha! ^^
rinduu larr sey~

woke up at 12nn, haha. siap2, headed to Ayer Hitam wit family. and Yanne, she followed us first and her parents met us there. because they need to go somewhere first. walk2, then kesian to Yanne.. (let her update herself, if she wants to) hope ur leg is okay babe, jgn luper letak ubat! xD
saw LOTS of stitch's stuff!!!!!!!! TEMPTING NYER NK BELI!!!!!! hee. xD
things happened there, lazy to blog about it. haha. headed back to jb 6plus, and we buke in the car. cos we bought burgers at Ayer Hitam. :D headed to Pandan, we didnt eat. the three of us. then we jln2, topup credit larr sey! haha. bella wanted to pierce her ears, but tk jadi. she wants to do it at Singapore instead. and ohya, me will be piercing too. :D
cari baju raya, sadly my size da habes. FUCK SIAA! sedih tautau! ): then balek, cari kuih raya then tkder. lagi sedih sey. make me no mood for raya ):

kay larr, malas nk blog. haha. most probably wont be going to school tomorrow. nights people.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SHAHZELEEMI!! :)

pizza hut larr sey!

2009-09-13T01:57:00.004+08:00

today was tiring.
due to me kemas-ing my room today. and my mum's. and washed my shoe. and my carpet. grrs.
but today was fun.
because after all the hard work, i got to eat Pizza Hut!!! :)

after kemas-ing rumah, went out buke wit Yanne and Bella. we make our way to pizza hut at abt 6.20pm like that. when we were walking, da ley buke. they both tk puase (gerek ke per?!), im the only one. always.
smpi pizza hut, saket hati larr sey! stupid service.

we waited outside, since they were supposed to serve us.
waited and waited and waited....
then end up, kiter masok jer. but, they still nvr serve us. we were like ignored.
i was like, wtf?!! serve us larr bitch. da larr aku belom buke lagi.
waited for atleast 15mins or so?
we ordered a set meal.
2 regular pizza, Haiwaiian and Pepperoni. 4 mushroom soups. 4 bread (idk what). 4pc chicken wings (which look super pale and not appetizing at all). and a jug of pepsi.

after eating, headed to 7eleven. bella beli rokok and stuffs.
bla3...
headed to Yanne's hse, and play mercun!!! wee~ hahahaha. gerek larr sey~
bla3...

then balek online, chat wit this beyloo. sorry to make u wait soo long! hee.
but now, he is offline =(

P.S
sorry to make you wait super long. sorry for what happened in msn, especially the last part. sorry that i made you stayed up a little bit longer, eventhough i should have known that you are tired, unlike me. who always stayed up late. sorry i made you sleep late, and cancelled your plans for the next day. sorry for everything. im really really sorry.. truly, i am... =/

dome fam buke outing :D

2009-09-12T02:06:00.002+08:00

ohhmyygodd, i had soooo much funn today!! hehe. xD
went out buke wit dome fam :)
(or should i say yesterday? since its 2.07am)

but anyways...
met up wit Rabia first, at ard 4.40pm. sorry im late dearie. no wait, u are early! haha. :D
we headed to tamp mall, went to the atm machine. aft that, we bought sushi!!!! ^^
rabia wanted to buy apple crumble, but nxt time larr kay? nevermind, my treat :)
she bought cookie frm famous amos. i wanted to buy something frm famous amos, tapi malas. hee.
headed to tamp inter to meet wit the guys. (excluding adam)

took 21 to geylang. maira meet up wit us in the bus. bcos she was late! haha. xD
stopped at joo chiat there, met up wit Elly, Adam and Mydin.
soo, we headed to the bazaar and go on our separate ways.
and we girls (me, rabia, nana and maira) went to buy burger ramly! they bought more foods too.
but i only bought a little, hehe. and we all headed to Paya Lebar singpost there.
we went up till the top level, the view was great :)

played some card games, and halfway was "shoo-ed" by the security guard. oh well...
bla3... hehe.
all went separate ways at abt 10.15pm.
but me, elly, adam and zhafri and izhar headed to Paya Lebar mrt station.
thanks for temaning me till the train came^^
soo, i made my wayy to marina square all alooonee... i feel sad. ):

thanks to sister for being LATE! doh!!~
u owe me one! u know i want it~
and thanks BELO for temaning me otp till my sis came^^
basically, i had fun. seriously :)

BSC buke outing :D

2009-09-11T14:39:00.002+08:00

SS paper was pathetic i tell you.
binget siaa ngan Mr Raj! urghs.
DENGAN CONFIDENT kater globalisation will come out for SBQ.
and said, WITH CONFIDENCE again, that healthcare and ethnic conflicts will be coming out for SEQ.
so, following his tips, i studied for healthcare and ethnic conflicts. but i gave up for healthcare, i couldnt understand. so, i studied for ethnic conflicts. because HE SAID that it will definitely come out for SEQ. when i get the paper, was FUCKING PISSED OFF siaa! ended up, ethnic conflicts came out for SBQ and globalisation came out for SEQ instead. FUCK KAN? grrs.
luckily, i rmbered some healthcare things. binget!!

english paper was okay. dont wanna elaborate on it.

yesterday was gerek!! ((:
daddy not working, so we spent our day in Jb, Kotaraya :)
went out, searching for baju raya. but, couldnt find any that catches my eyes. oh well,
during the whole searching-for-baju-raya, i was SUPERsleepy.
haha. and i dont know why. x)
and then kan, we saw this guy. SUPERfunny siaa!
i mean, he's not funny. but when me and my sis look at him, we cannot stop laughing siaa! hahahahahaahaha!!!!!!! kekek siaa.

we then headed to this bazaar.
i dont know where, because i was sleeping in the car. =x
mummy and daddy bought some food, smells nice i tell you!
and u wanna know what i buke ytd?
SEAFOOD LARR SEY! hehe.
nicee i tell u! hehe. x)
i like...

there are chilli crabs, sweet and sour fish, sotong goreng tepung and kailan. sedap tautau! xP
i love yesterday. part of it also bcos over there, got network. hehe. ^^

going out buke later, wit BSC (:
will blog abt it later, hee.
andand, watched bohsia ytd. cerite gerek gilerr~

one paper down.

2009-09-07T18:32:00.002+08:00

today was malay paper 1and2. ohmygod i tell u, freaking merepek siaa the karangan qns.
grrs. and i got to find out that i wrote the wrong thing. like cb kan? grrs!!
fuck it lahh. still got malay paper3, listening compre tmr. in the morning. haishh.
DIG YOUR EARS PPL!!! (:
i hope i would get atleast a2 or b3 for my malay paper. amin :)

after school, went back home straight.
then siap CEPAT2, end up for nothing ):
elly didnt come, and we are not joining the dance competition. sads. ))))):
oh well, nxt time then.

went to library with Syahirah, borrowed more books!!! hee~
headed to Tampines Mall and bought sushi!!! (:
for me and sister. since i owe her one. ^^

and then headed to Qiji and bought popiah! yumyum! xP
and then headed to OCK and bought sardine :D
yeah i know, i bought A LOT of foods.
part of my cravings. hehe.

was supposed to go study and buke at shahz's hse,
but i wasnt allowed to go. ):
sorry Rabiaaa!

oh well, guess i have to study on my own. haishh. ):
bye! wanna study SS, tmr paper!!! hehe. xD

tomorrow is nlvls!!!!

2009-09-06T21:41:00.004+08:00

ohmygod! ohmygod! ohhhmyyygooooodddd!!!!
i cant believe tomorrow is nlvls!!!
aaaaaaaaarrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and i have not yet prepared for it!!! D:

yea i know, sempat nk blog. heee~
oh well, i am stress okay! fucking trying to put this fucking social studies in my brain.
i fucking hate social studies. grrrrrss.

STOP IT NADIAH!
you must looooooooovveeee social studies. =/

tomorrow is malay paper and i have not study anything. except for some peribahase. but i not sure whether i rmb or not what i've learnt, teehees. :D
will be going to library tmr, got to return books and i wanna borrow books!!!
i looooooveeeee reading ♥

i want my "geylang day" back.
i missed it. i loved it.
and i miss him, hehe.
lalalalalalalalalala~

P.S
i think its time for me to move on,
and leave u behind...

study! study! study!

2009-09-05T17:21:00.004+08:00

my nlvls is coming soon, real soon!!
and i've not yet prepared for anything. like serious shit, none!
ohhh myyyyy gooodddd!!!! D:

studying malay - peribahasa. but not focusing much on this though. hmms,
studying social studies - trying to memorise and understand and studying chap. 3 and 4.
will be focusing on sri lanka and northern ireland esp!! and healthcare too. =/
will just read through bonding and globalisation. haishh.
studying english - gonna be doing the assessment book that i bought. i know, last minute much!

cleaned my room today, and moved the furniture around. teehees. :D
was supposed to go in singapore today, my auntie ajak.
but then, when i think back, nahh. i would rather stay here and study than going in and not study! xD bcos there isnt much time, haishh.

kay larr, nothing much to blog abt.
okay, im missing him a lot!!!! hee.

my room. well, part of it. hee.

P.S

You know someone loves you when they want to hold on to you so tight they leave bruises on your arms. When they tell you they'll kill anyone who dares to so much as look at you, kissing the words home so hard that you can't hardly breathe.

heartbroken..

2009-09-01T17:54:00.002+08:00

When you drop a glass or a plate to the ground it makes a loud crashing sound. When a window shatters, a table leg breaks, or when a picture falls off the wall it makes a noise. But as for your heart, when that breaks, it's completely silent. You would think as it's so important it would make the loudest noise in the whole world, or even have some sort of ceremonious sound like the gong of a cymbal or the ringing of a bell. But it's silent and you almost wish there was a noise to distract you from the pain.

If there is a noise, it's internal. It screams and no one can hear it but you. It screams so loud your ears ring and your head aches. It thrashes around in your chest like a great white shark caught in the sea; it roars like a mother bear whose cub has been taken. That's what it looks like and that's what it sounds like, a thrashing, panicking, trapped great big beast, roaring like a prisoner to its own emotions. But that's the thing about love - no one is untouchable. It's as wild as that, as raw as an open flesh wound exposed to salty sea water, but when it actually breaks, it's silent. You're just sceaming on the inside and no one can hear it.

P.S
day by day, i keep on pushing this pain in my heart away. issit working?

i had fun! :)

2009-09-01T00:47:00.003+08:00

today was fun, seriously. (: or should i say ytd? bcos its already 1am, haha.
but, whatever.
before i start my storytelling, just wanna wish all teachers HAPPY TEACHERS DAY!!! (:
especially to Mr Poon, Mr Tan HL, Ms Raj.
and not forgetting my primary school teachers, Mr Razali and Cikgu Hana! :)

performance in school was not bad lahh. BSC was supposed to perform but we do not have time to come up wit dance steps in less than a week. ended up, we cancelled. sorry guys.
after school, went back to my primary school, TKPS, wit Syahirah and Fatin. ^^
bought for Mr Razali cookie. hee. bla3..
ohya! i saw babyface! (only 2ppl know, hehe. shh~) cute larr! hahahaha! xD
watched my nieces perform, and gyeah.

went back home, go to sleep!!!~ hahaha.
syahirah called, discussed abt buke plans.
slept and woke up ard 4plus.
bathe at 5plus, then straight away siap.
daddy sent me and Syahirah to bedok. near adib's hse there, to buke.
like finally, the five of us was there :) [me, syahirah, hafeez, naz and adib]
shits happened.

headed to geylang aft buke.
met up wit Wan there. friendly siaa his mother. haha! kekek sey.
but anyway, we walked. and THANKS EH KRG! for disturbing me all the way.
ESPECIALLY naz and wan! grrs.

butbut, wan made it up to me by treating me dendeng!! ^^
thankie u!!! haha! xD
stuffs happened.

da, mls nk blog. hee.
bye!

couldnt sleep...

2009-08-30T06:24:00.002+08:00

its 6.25am, and yet, im still awake.
i couldnt sleep, idk why..
too many things in my head right now..
or mayb, there is just one..
but it is really bugging me.... ='/

i couldnt stop thinking abt it,
i thought i could be strong, i thought i could face this.
but each day, the cut gets deeper and deeper.
everytime i tried not to think abt it, i thought abt it more and more.
everytime i wanna forget abt it, it keeps on coming back.

it hurts, oh yes, it does.
eventhough this isnt like my past relationships, it still hurts.
i should be happy, i shouldnt be sad.
but idk why, it cuts me deeper and deeper each day.
nadiah, stop thinking abt it. please?
be happy, be strong.
haishhh....

happy ending much?

2009-08-30T03:39:00.004+08:00

i guess this it. oh well... ='/ (only some ppl will understand when i say this)

went out wit BSC ytd :) oh, plus izhar and mark (or prefer me call mydin? hmms,) .

buke wit epul and rabia, went to food culture. bla3... lots of things happened!

then met shahz at tanah merah. the rest in the mrt. went to city hall, was supposed to teman elly take her camera. but eventually, when we reached there, kedai da tutop ): haha! oh well, nevermind. ^^ headed to esplanade roof top, then rabia couldnt stay long. so ard 10plus, rabia went home. memi sent her home. and izhar and mark went hme too, sads ): so walked ard wit elly, adam and epul. went to 7eleven and then, elly and adam went hme. epul teman-ed me until my sis came, which is FUCKING LMBT! hahas. (u sooo owe me a caramel frappe frm Macd! idc! hehe) and went back hme wit daddy at 12plus,

went to dahlia wit family just now, and then we went in Singapore. daddy sent us (me, mum and sis) to princessANA's hse. daddy went to work. sister was supposed to teach her friend but eventually, it was cancelled. oh well. and mummy was supposed to go to hosp, to visit grandmother. but tk jadi, hmms... hafeez ajak buke, but i couldnt go. so sadd )): nevermind, monday kaykay? hehe.

she's cute right? haha.

so, buke wit my aunty's family. watched Michael Jackson's concert on chl.5. its SUPERcoool! :) i want all his songs!!!! hahahaha!! :D hotstuff! headed to marina square aft the concert thingy. waited for daddy.
oh and, me and sis went to Baybeats! yeah! hahahahaha! (inside joke) it was dope! haha! the story goes on......

thats all! bye!

P.S smiling on the outside, crying on the inside... ='/

my feelings are all mixed up...

2009-08-26T18:21:00.003+08:00

at one moment, i was okay.
smiling and laughing wit my bfriends.
suddenly, i wasnt okay.
i went all emo and sad. not talking wit bfriends.

i was happy went i didnt think abt my problems.
but when i went quiet, the problems comes to me.
they make me think abt them.
they make me emo bcos of them.
im hating this.

will blog more later,
going Yanne's house to buke.
bye.

happy fasting! =)

2009-08-22T18:06:00.003+08:00

firstly, would like to say HAPPY FASTING!! to all muslims =)
puase tauu! jgn tk puase! nyehehh~

is the beginning of fasting month, which means... my nlvls is coming really really soon!!!!
omg! omg!! im soo freaking scared siaa! nevermind, i must work extra hard! so i could go in sec5 nxt year.. yeahhs! ^^

had dance session ytd. at dome.
was supposed to go to far east plaza before that wit Rabia, but it was raining cats and dogs.
i feel sad~ mayb im not fated to eat fried mars balls!! xD
went out at ard 4pm and met up wit Rabia at maira's busstop. we headed to tamp library.
rabia wanted to return her books, and we borrowed some books.
headed to kfc, waited for nana and elly.
after eating, went to tamp mall to buy some cakes for memi's mum =)
headed to memi's hse, damdam was there. waited for the boys.
went to dome together.

it was my first time going to session, and i feel soo welcomed. haha! xD
had a HELL LOT of fun, learnt a lot of new dance steps. teehees.
things happened during break time, hee.
congrats, yeah? ((:
went off at ard 10pm, wit rabia. ended up she went hme first, and i waited for epul. lols.

we headed to marina square, thanks for sending / temaning me there.
yea i know, said it a lot of times. haha!
waited for sister at marina steps, till it rains. okay, drizzling.
i got STARBUCKS frm my sister!!!! hehe. thankie u darling =)
and, he's not bad. xD

met up wit daddy at ard 12am plus, headed back hme.
i love yesterday =)

i hate prelims,

2009-08-20T23:14:00.003+08:00

overall, my prelims is okay lah. aint happy wit my results, except for my maths. teehees. (:
but im not going to talk abt or tell abt my prelims results.
okay, lets just drop the school talk aites? one thing for sure, i need focus on my SS now! nlvls is coming soon! a`hah~

going to ask help frm fariz to teach me science :)
going to study maths wit epul, hope he dont mind. cos i havent ask. hee. ^^
going to ask help frm kude to teach me poa :)
going to ask anyone who has notes for malay peribahase, i wanna photocopy and study everything. insyaallah. hee. ^^
going to do more english. trying my best to memorise almost everything - humanities.
i hope i do all of these things. amin. ((:

aft school, went to macd wit kude. ate icecream :) we talked, basically abt nlvls and studies.
and then met parents at bro's hse, and we headed to jb.
sorry to yanne, for the trouble caused.
we headed to angsana, i had fun :)
cari baju raya! haha. tk dpt though, sad ):
looked ard for shoes, hee. sempat~ i know.
headed to dahlia, and then to a sri thinking wanna eat burger.
suddenly, burger tk jual. everywhere tkder, sedih sey.
so daddy drove ard searching for burger for me, aww... what a sweetheart~ haha.
ended up eating kfc! ^^

i had fun :)

P.S i love you, i will always do...

beach!!!

2009-08-16T22:52:00.004+08:00

went to east coast just now, after jemputan thingy.
feel so hypocrite, go jemputan wear something decent go beach wear something open.
okay, nevermind. haha.

anyway, went in late tadi. waited for Aunty Noree lmbt sgnt. hahas.
okay, i LOVE yanne's dress. hees.
but anyway, i had fun just now. nothing much to blog about anyway.
ohya, i was on the phone wit epul most of the time. haha! ^^
didnt take much pictures with the people. and i didnt get to taste the cake! but, whatever.
ohya, pictures of gfriends will be updated in facebook.
kay, bye. haha.

P.S
im soo lazy to go to school!!
andand, im missing him like LOTS!

updates??

2009-08-16T00:48:00.004+08:00

okay, there is a hell lot to update sey. hmms, should i?
okay, maybe i should just post about today.
well, i went to KFC today! haha. yeah2!

walked frm my house to Yanne's place there. (freaking far u know! and yeah, i went wit her.)
when we were about to walk to kfc (which is freaking far too! haha), there are dogs!!!!!!!!!!!!
SCARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahahahahahaha! :D
all the way frm our place to kfc, there are mat motor kacau and everything. irritating sey!!
reached, we talked.. bla3...
and guess what?!!
when we wanna go back hme, we climbed the fence! haha! mcm pencuri sey!
yeah, we are both TOO lazy to walk smpi security there, haha! kecoh arhs.. hees.

okay, lets talk abt last week.
well, basically HAPPY belated BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!!! haha.
andand, we celebrated national day at kota tinggi instead. went wit Yanne's family. pictures will be updated soon.
andand, HAPPY 1MONTHSARY, BABY ♥
i love you. ♥
ohya, went to seoul garden wit gfriends :) pictures will be updated.
bascially, there is too much fun things happened and i had fun :D

pictures says a thousand words. ^^

okay, the kota tinggi picture will update in another post. hee. ^^

what the hell?

2009-08-13T20:36:00.000+08:00

okay, blogger is being a bitch. or mayb, its just at my laptop. idk.
but all i know is, its FUCKING IRRITATING!!!!
but anyway, i will update soon yeahs? abt everything. haha.
yupyup, it will be a long post.
will update abt kota tinggi and 1monthsary ♥

bored to death here.

2009-08-08T21:04:00.003+08:00

i miss those times, we used to be so close..

another day is ending soon. still, i have not finish studying for my history. )):
yes, tuesday will be having history paper. AND amaths. sucks kan? i know.
but i cant drag studying history, need to study for my amaths too.
yesterday slept quite late, due to studying history. x)

in the morning i ate my breakfast, and finish up reading a book which i borrowed from library.
i spent my afternoon kemas-ing my room.
in the evening like that, i watched tv. 2movies straight, hees.
and in the night, i study. :)
yeahs, im studying history now. hope i get to finish studying abt Russia and Germany. ^^

tomorrow is national day, i wanna go!!! )):
i mean, go watch fireworks atleast!
da larr kat sini tkder Singapore channel, then cannot watch ndp on channel 5. sads mann. )):
i feel like a prisoner sey here. bcos i cant even go out anywhere. D:

P.S
eventhough im here, just a few kilometres away from u, im missing u soo much..
its been weeks since we last met, when can we meet again? and be like last time?
i miss your smile. i miss your voice, your laughter.
i miss your touch, i miss your kisses.
i miss you..